An unusual Prayer

Dear Daddy,

              Hi, How are you? I know the answer but You know still it's basic ethics of the letter that we ask the person how He is doing? Though in Your case its obvious but as a son I just wanted to check and I know You won't mind at all?

What is that I am crying today, I want to pray an usual prayer today? I want to ask something weird? I have always ask something to add, something to gain, something to reach, something to progress but today I want to put a reverse gear. I want to pray for something to lose, something to give up, something to lay behind and many to surrender. Because I have learned that the knowledge, possession and skills I have are like filthy rags before You. I am afraid that I am carrying a big baggage of proud of something I have done, something I have learned and others which I experienced. But God all this are coming in between You and me. I want to lay them out before You.

Its hard to that because I am afraid of losing something, few things I don't know what but I am afraid. Its hard to give up everything. But today's prayer is that give me strength to unlearn, to throw out all the possessions I carry. To be humble and accept that I am dust and worthless wretched sinner. Truly I am convinced that my heart is desperately wicked and my plans are always filthy and unrighteous. I want to empty myself. I cannot live this duplicit and cheat life everyday. Running and falling and crying every moment thinking to myself why can't I make it by myself? But the Truth that scripture says you can't, you simply can't?(Romans 3:23) 
And therefore I come to you asking me to realize this and to handover my life once again to You my Master, my Father, Lover of my soul, my Redeemer. In You alone I found my life and meaning. Purpose I survived because You came in my life and said “Follow me”. And I committed everything in Your hands then why do I run on my own strength and not on You. God teach me to abide in You by giving up all the obstacles that are coming in between. Let it be only You and me, and nothing to bother us. Let me grow in You alone and by Your strength alone. I really want to enjoy the life in fullness but in Your way and not my way. So here I am to lay all my crowns and all that I possess as filthy rags. As David says “ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise.” Psalm 51:17. I want to be renewed in You Lord. Thanks for listening to my prayers Daddy! Hope You answer soon.

Your disobedient but loving son,

Shushant