Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Porn chat with mind....

    We all know that Christian journey is a spiritual warfare its battle between spiritual realm. Its also a battle within the mind, a battle between flesh and spirit. So I am trying to capture or to put down one of my most common battles as below. Here the battle is regarding the temptation to watch porn and to respond to it mentally, physically and spiritually. So flesh represents the mind set on the flesh and spirit is the one where mind is set on spirit.
Source: Google, war in mind

    * Flesh is also listening to the enemy thats devil and its believing and quoting a lot of lie. Our task here is to learn what is the lie and what is truth, many a times I give in and many a times the flesh takes over and those are the moment you will see the spirit giving in but there are time when Holy Spirit will guide and therefore our focus should be on main truths I have tried to highlight but be careful, to make this very realistic I have many times used words for spirit which appears as if what flesh is telling is right and thats the trap so here our task is to figure that out what is wrong and what is right.

flesh: Hey see I need to do this, its common as you have the hunger for food, similar there is urge for for some skin to skin moments, lets watch some naked girls.
spirit: Why are you hindering me, you know thats not right thing to do?
Flesh: why is it not right to do so?
Spirit: because in the process of doing this I am sinning against God and against every that person I will lust after by allowing myself to fall in the trap of lust and then giving into wrong thoughts, spiritually being separated from Him and then mentally whatever great thoughts were coming will crash and just think about the images and skin as you talk about and then my body will heat up and so on.....
flesh: but just think of all the past when you have done that haven't you felt so good. And you are saying as if you are saint you never watched porn and never did wrong things
spirit: yes, I  know you very well you accuser I have done all this in past but God forgave me
flesh: so He will forgive you this time as well
spirit: He will I know about His forgiveness, do not teach me about His precepts
flesh: ok, lets not get there but think of the aroma, the perfect figure, the pleasure
spirit: oh, yes you are right i know what you are talking about, it just feels so good. Dont remind of those things it just makes me think of it more
flesh: yes, yes think how those pictures of perfect figure calls you, saying see us more
spirit: No, wait where are we going?
Flesh: we are going in right direction, bodies, aroma, sex.....
spirit: oh, yes sex isnt bad i can talk about it
flesh: You are right its not bad its good think of all the pleasures, think of the drive, think of new styles, think of new ways, think of new bodies, think of that......
spirit: wait, wait what are you talking, you are arousing wrong thoughts in my mind. Lust is not a good pleasure.
source: Google images

Flesh: Lust, who said we are talking about lust here I never mentioned about lust. Lust is like stealing, or like coveting but you know this porn websites are not those things because they are available because skin show is good and people care and understands the drive of sex and they are just serving the society for good
spirit: ya, I think so...
flesh: remember those smiles and those laughing pictures you get see, do you think even a bit they are tortured or forced to do such things, no! They like to do such things why are you so bothered that they will feel bad if we do so. In fact they do such things for us and expect us to do for them thats all. As you watch a tv actor and appreciate his skills, why not watch porn and appreciate their bodies
spirit: no(falling in the trap)
Reality check: All the porn and all the glamour we see is a real lie. A truth is many girls, women, children are forced to do this under some kind of threat. Mostly they are slaves of this mafias who get lot of money for this acts. And another shocking but real truth is this few are homemade videos made by teenagers like you and me who enjoy porn, with their girlfriends and posted here on the websites. Again it can be anyone who have sent their naked picture just to show to their boyfriends and they broke the trust and uploaded and therefore do not live in the delusion that pictures you see are of those people who want to be naked, who celebrate sex as sports. But think because we purchase and see such stuff, the rate of child trafficking is increased everyday and we know the results of porn are so bad like gang rapes, sexual abuse within or outside marriage, adultery, prostitution, trafficking and many other crimes. Also its not to be taken lightly as this leads to some very serious crimes many studies and interview have shown that one thing that is common between the worst criminals that is to watch porn and have the mindset similar to it.
Source: Google. Say no to porn

flesh: so why bother, they are doing it because they like, they like to show and we like to see
spirit: but wait its not mere what they think about it, its more what I think and what God thinks about it
flesh: but you are not indulging in it, its just a bird's eyeview, all I am asking you is to appreciate the beauty of flesh, if you don't appreciate that, it will go vain. Will animals appreciate that
spirit: Our bodies are not objects to be used or played with but they are the temple of living God
flesh: Ah! Again the saint inside you have raised and is hindering you in the process

there is a gap and as the person is trying to juggle around. Then suddenly a strong sense of urge comes or lets say thought flows in mind about sex and urge of it.

Flesh: come on, now see you are having the urge for it, don't suppress it otherwise all your so called balanced life will be hindered
spirit: are you telling the truth...
flesh: come on! Dont you know yourself when we suppress something what will happen
spirit: it will keep piling up and then blow into disaster
# Reality Check: However, its really true that everyone gets thoughts and feelings and if we dont deal with them properly they can really keep getting piled up and keep disturbing you or maybe sometime become burden and weigh you down badly. It can be any thought that leads you for certain feeling and then repeated feelings will bring you at a stage of emotion called lust and therefore you will be lust-blinded and thus more vulnerable than before and easy trap for the enemy. Therefore rather than ignoring the feelings face them, replace the negative thoughts with the Truth which is the Word of God.
flesh: you know what the more you resist such thing, more they will pile up. So live for the moment and indulge
spirit: I think so....
flesh: no thinking around, its the moment don't lose it, its natural everyone must react to every urge you have, its your body if you don't give it what it want, it will collapse?
Spirit: Is it? Just live for a moment. Wait a second its a clear lie, you know very well this body is temporary but not me, I am eternal and therefore moment by moment I does really matter. And what I will do now will also effect in long term.
flesh: come on, it's like starving ... How many days have passed you have kept this holy fast
spirit: says nothing....
flesh: (reminding of a previous episode where I failed) do you remember of the last time when we did this, oh it was so perfect, what a perfect piece it was
spirit: See, this is the problem when we are watching porn a good human being is just treated or seen as piece, a body.Where as we clearly know the Scripture clearly says that your body is a temple of Living God. Keep it holy! Arent you making me a fool? Dont you want me just to be a slave
spirit: (speaking to God) Deliver me from this as its too hard and you know I almost gave in above, Abba! Give me Your Holy Spirit to fight this

Momentarily there is an escape as the person prayed. But after some time,

flesh: So now lets just forget everything, you are so tired of running here and there dont you want to treat yourself with something refreshing
spirit: Yes, I really think the same
flesh: what about some porn!
Spirit: resisting very hard. No, not porn
flesh: no, you don't have to see porn, maybe just read about it, or maybe better just have a look to that naked bodies
spirit: but I don't think this is a good idea
flesh: come on, you are tired now, stop thinking of good and bad. Lets just focus on fun we can have, I am sure God is not against fun
spirit: definitely not
# Reality Check: The truth is that God is not against pleasure infact if we are careful the Scripture says that all good pleasures are at His right hand and that gives me confidence that certainly God is not against pleasure.Its not that God is moral monster who stands with a stick to punish you but certainly He gave us law to protect and provide for our own safety and for our own good. He says not commit adultery(later Jesus explains even looking at a woman lustfully is commiting adultery) simply because we are made in His image and our lives are sacred and we dont have right to violate the sacredness at any cost.

I am sure it was great learning and a great chat, if you want to clarify please comment. Or even if you have similar struggle or want to write down what is the chat that goes between your flesh and spirit please do share with me, who knows I might want to put it up here on my blog only if you allow me. Even if you want to suggest something please share your thoughts....

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Sin! Sin! go away lil’ shushant want to play....

    I really want to do away with Sin.Why Ya? I am sinner and I will be but this sin cause me to stumble and fall down. You make me feel guilty, ashamed and fearful. You take away my peace. You confuse me and you give me unnecessary burden which I don't want to carry at all.Oh! you are like a wound all over my body and I am badly wounded. Ya!  God healed many of them but you know it
itches when a wound drys and like a small boy we again try to fiddle with it and sometimes again it gets infected and get worse. You have been my shadows you keep me from reading the bible. Like a boy  try to run away from medicine, I have ran from the Word of my Lord.Oh! Sin I know with my strength I will entangle myself with my flesh and spirit in it; my pleasure and my joy. The wounds are very fresh and are very visible. Some think I am recovering soon but from inside I know how weak I am. Crying to Abba” Father please help me, deliver from this disease. Oh how you have kept me to enjoy good time with family and friends. How you made me angry and anxious. How you made me commit a series after series betrayal. What a blunder you are? You have made false promises you have kept me in dark. You have chained me made me and made me your slave. You have replaced all Godly and original/good pleasures with counterfeits. How far you will carry me? I feel lost many times and find you directing me in all weird direction. You tell me every new experiment will bring me something I never had before. No matter how much I serve you, you are never satisfied. What do you want from me? Everything almost everything you have taken from me? You have replaced my joy, peace and love with false pleasure, business and hatred.
    Why did I taste you at the first? I regret to be friend with you. I ask you to leave me alone but just as some addict is not able to leave the drugs so am I not able to leave you. I know you are dangerous you can kill me still I follow you like a fool who is determined to do wrong. What on earth will satisfy me that I will turn from you?You are deceiver, a liar, evil, you have no power but you want to make it artificially.I don't want to be with you any more. I find my beloved my Lord Jesus Christ asking me to believe in Him and break all the bondages from you. I know you will try your level best to get me. But my Lord is already victorious over you. He have shed blood on the Cross as a ransom for my sins. He have promised me a new heart and a new Spirit and He will clothe me with His righteousness. You are defeated you ugly sin. You are helpless when my Lover stands besides me and His Spirit dwells in me. I will bow down on my knees and pray to Abba” Father that He will heal me. He promised whoever will keep His commandments will never fall sick. I want to follow the Lord. I am His sheep and I know His voice. He is Yahweh-Rapha-The Lord our Healer and I trust in Him. He is the one the Light who loves me so much. I will learn patience from him, He will give me His peace, Joy and Love. Because He loves me so much. I will forget every hatred I got because of You and I will always praise Him and I will play(Live a free life) with Him..... And then with His might and power again I say Sin! Sin! go away lil’ shushant wants to play...

Monday, November 11, 2013

Blessed Monday-Thankful for small things....

Dear Dad,
Sometimes I take life and all the blessings for granted but today I want to take some time out and think parallel what's there in life to be thankful for. So we will start from the beginning of the day. Weather is playing tricks it have began to be cold in the mornings and the evenings and mildly pleasant with sunlight all the day, winters just reminds me of soup and hot drinks. Thank God for the seasons, I would have not enjoyed the variety of foods and clothing. It would have become monotonous if seasons were not there? Ever thought that way? So I am thankful for the day and night and different seasons and especially for the weather I enjoyed today.
I want to thank God for toothpaste the first need to freshen up, otherwise your mouth will stink ;-) Then for hot water. Nothing beats hot water bath and then for soap and shampoo for their color’s smell and ingredients which keeps my hair and skin healthy. Thanks God for all this small things that you provide for my hygiene.
Then I am very thankful for clothes that keep me warm in this chilly winter. Also allows me to flash colorful jackets and cool cap to wear. And thank You Daddy as I am an Indian and we Indians love colors. I enjoy being colorful, monochrome is not just boring but dull as well. Then I am thankful for nice home which protects me, which gives me small place where I can lie down peacefully and do my household chorus, eat food, meet people. Not just four walls but a lively place to live with lovely mom and brother.
I am thankful for my mom and brother who are always there to love me. Hug me, cuddle me and that makes my heart just so warm and no matter what I go through they are always just standing beside me. Sharing all the pains and all the joys. We have all things common and equally we share all things. Its indeed a blessing to have a loving family who is determined to serve You. Thank You Dadda for such a sweet, sharing, caring and most importantly loving family. We are determined to love You and serve You.
I am thankful for the small plants in my small home and thank you for stray cute kittens making voices all the times. For the stray dogs who comes every now and then just to say hello and grab some food. I am thankful for this little favor we get from this animals at least they don't fight you, shout at you or judge you, look down at you. Hahah... funny it is.
I am thankful for the work and my Ubuntu system at work, which just helps me work better. I am thankful for the excel sheets where I can put formulas and have fun with cells. I am thankful for the internet by which we are connected to the world and the ocean of knowledge and fun just a click away. I am thankful for my phone which I got as a gift (sometimes I forget and I think I am owner of it, sometimes I am too afraid to call anything “my” or “its mine”). Mobile which helps me to connect with bunch of my crazy friends who like share crazy things with me. We all do something crazy and we respect craziness and mostly celebrate this craziness and boast of the bonding over it.
I am thankful for the hot cup of coffee my office provides. The drink is not mere a drink but its a dangerous intoxicant yet does have lot of positive things. I like the aroma of this coffee and it keeps me from sleeping in office ;-) Also gives me a boost to stay alive and work. But mostly I am ignorant of this small things for this drink and all but then I am taking time out today to be thankful. Whether I realize or not, this small things make my day. So I am thankful for all this small things.
I am thankful for the songs that I can hear through internet because I believe music have its own magic which makes me forget all the blues of the world and stress of anything. It just takes me to a different world and the soothing music and soothing voices of the singers makes me think what a talent God you have given to all the singers. And different music instruments which makes total symphony, I cannot imagine how a conductor(master or chief musician) just by movements of his hands every group of musicians makes a different mood and a different symphony. I cannot fathom this earthly music what will happen when reach the place where angels worship You day and night.
I am thankful for the phone call from an old friend staying far away in Kerala whom I never met face to face but know only through help of phone. What a sweet music to ears to hear  voice of a good old friend. Sometimes its all that you want to do. Daddy, I am thankful for it is You who gives us good friends and the love and the strong bond of friendship.
As I always says there so many things I can just go on and on which makes me thankful and make me feel how rich I am. It humbles me and reminds me that every good gift comes from You. I am blessed and thankful for all things I have missed to take note of.

Thanking You,
Your loving son,

Friday, November 1, 2013

Kya pyar China ka mal hai....

    I have always told myself the best thing about love is yet to be learned and no matter how hard I have tried I have said this definition cannot fit and tell about love. Whenever I heard a love song, saw a romantic movie I felt there is more to it. Whenever people share their thoughts about love I said is all that, is it really that. Someone said there are volumes and volumes about love. Few says love makes the world go round. Others told me love is bullshit. And yet say love is the only magic they believe in. I have always told you cannot put it in words, its more like a feeling. The more you try to understand it the less you solve it. It is and remains an unsolved mystery for me. So please bear with me because this post is going to be unusually long.
source: www.123rf.com
But all said and done, why I am writing about love today is not because I have derived to some conclusion or I know completely about love but I see the culture today is making multiple counterfeits of love and there is so much of confusion around us and in this declining culture do we have any absolute or everything absolutely everything is relative and revolving around you and your definitions. Everyone is shouting and howling “I am in love” and they call it that “I love you” are three magical words by which every teenager is fascinated. Every adult is either cursing it and others are saying they are in cloud 9 because of it. Few others are still finding what does it mean to love.
But I hope we must give a chance to everyone to define their own definition for love but I am afraid some people they learn from others and specially the younger generation. And as we have seen first the art imitates the life and then life imitates the art. All the lifestyle around us does influence us to shape our thoughts and belief system. Therefore as a thinker we must also give our opinion to strike a balance in this declining culture. So what is wrong with love? I mean by the current definition of it? and what is our contemporary arts displaying it. And I want to be safe and when I am criticizing I am not targeting someone but the idea.    
So songs nowadays like Badtameez dil, Besharam, Sudh desi romance and Party all night are setting our trend they are telling us that breaking rules is the new rule now where we leave no right and no wrong. But all this is actually our culture, other day I heard Honey singh telling in Interview its not my words but its the voice of today’s youth I am just bringing it in song. Is it really true. Where are we heading?

But main focus was not even this but what triggered me to write this was this song

Pyaar China Ka Maal Hai(Love is chinese product)

Koi Guarantee Nahi(No Guarantee)
Koi Warranty Nahi(No warranty)
Koi Kachcha Bill Bhi Nahi(Not even a raw/duplicate bill)
Koi Guarantee Nahi
Koi Warranty Nahi
Koi Kachcha Bill Bhi Nahi…

Chale To Chaand Tak
Warna Yeh Shaam Tak(If it works it will go till moon otherwise till evening)

This made me laugh for a moment because we have made the word “pyar” so cheap sometimes but definitely the most used and abused. I see hatred towards “love” all around and I see on other hand people longing and dying for it. But we have made love a very cheap.
Rather than I bringing my thoughts on the subject which I am not even a student I will give you advice from a great thinker CS Lewis.In his book Four loves, Lewis treats of love under four categories ("the highest does not stand without the lowest"), based in part on the four Greek words for love: affection, friendship, eros, and charity. Lewis states that just as Lucifer—a former archangel—perverted himself by pride and fell into depravity, so too can love—commonly held to be the arch-emotion—become corrupt by presuming itself to be what it is not. Then he goes on explaining how we have mixed the emotions and played different roles and exploited. We almost use the word love for affection, friendship and Eros(romantic love) mostly and we have ignored Charity most of the time and I have hardly seen in my contemporary culture no one is even aware of it. Charity or Agape is the love that brings forth caring regardless of the circumstance. Lewis recognizes this as the greatest of loves, and sees it as a specifically Christian virtue. The chapter on the subject focuses on the need of subordinating the natural loves - as Lewis puts it, "The natural loves are not self-sufficient"- to the love of God, who is full of charitable love, to prevent what he termed their 'demonic' self-aggrandisement.
That’s Lewis reminding what we found in Scriptures all over again and again that God loves unconditionally. And He loved us from beginning and He alone truly loves and claim to love us. Infact Apostle John writes “God is love” look at the divinity of the word that apostle is describing God as love.So, what does it mean that God is love? Love is an attribute of God. Love is a core aspect of God’s character, His Person. God’s love is in no sense in conflict with His holiness, righteousness, justice, or even His wrath. All of God’s attributes are in perfect harmony. Everything God does is loving, just as everything He does is just and right. God is the perfect example of true love. Amazingly, God has given those who receive His Son Jesus as their personal Savior the ability to love as He does, through the power of the Holy Spirit.
The most amazing part of this agape love is that we don't deserve it but God still in His grace loves us. And by the word unconditional love I mean to explain its purely a selfless love there is not even a hint of any self gain or any self righteousness. Its the purest emotion, I am afraid to call it emotion because its permanent unlike others. It is beyond human capacity to even think of such love. As Apostle Paul defines love in this way in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.”
Source: Google
He describes love in both it is and it is not and I really love the final statement he says that Love never fails. I don't know if anything as permanent as Love. Look at this promise or this statement of God which says something like this:
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying:
“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
   I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3
Focus on the word love everlasting. And don't say “you know its just written that doesn't prove God loves us”. How have He demonstrated it to us? I was also reminded its not the first time someone is asking this questions. Its not at all a new question but just the questioners are new. So lets look from the history of Israel. We find the below words from the book of Malachi 1:2
“I have loved you,” says the Lord.
“But you ask, ‘How have you loved us?’
Imagine Israel the covenant people of God asking this question. That Israel who was called out by God. Who saved them from the bondage from Egypt, same Israel for whom red sea was parted and then wilderness God tested their faith and many of them perished because of unbelief and the greatest Exodus took place and then they were given the promise land and God was their King. God dwelt among them. They saw the golden era under His reign. He raised king like David, man after His own heart.
In the book of Ezekiel 16 one of the most blunt passage shows God’s heart where He metaphorically refers Israel as a child then a beautiful young lady to whom He loved and gave His hand in marriage and made a covenant with. The lady was naked and ugly but He bathed her and dressed her with finest clothes and adorned with valuable jewels. Yet what she did, she forgot her past, she forgot every covenant and every oath that she took with her Husband. And she played a whore.He calls her worse than prostitute because they have excuse to say they get gifts for it but she is worse than that because you gave gifts to your lovers. There is no more words left by which I should describe the condition of Israel and we are just like Israel.
And even after all this look what God says  “Then, when I make atonement for you for all you have done, you will remember and be ashamed and never again open your mouth because of your humiliation, declares the Sovereign Lord.” Ezekiel 16:63
God never forsook His covenant and yet they asked Him, “How have you loved us?” and same is with rebellious people like us. We are worse than Israelites. Because in that time only his covenant people that is Israel had access to God. But now is the era of Holy Spirit where God gave us Holy Spirit which is dwelling in our hearts. We are in the era of AD Anno Domini in the years of living God. God actually dwelt among us. Immanuel is His name. And look what His contemporaries are saying:
That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. 2 The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. 3 We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. 4 We write this to make our joy complete. 1 John 1:1-4    His love is not just in words but incarnate and we know Him by the name of Jesus.
May I suggest you that this is what agape looks like and look at the magnificent words of Apostle John in John 3:16
source: Google
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Look what Jesus have to tell us about love “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.” John 15:13 and He did. He died for us and thus its not mere but God demonstrated His love through His son. I hope we dont go home and ask God "How can He say I have loved you?".
After understanding this Agape love now tell me is love a Chinese product or steadfast and everlasting love og God.

P.S.: You can read further about four lover here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves

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