Thankful Thursday: Simplicity

Sometimes I have simply prayed for a simple life. So that I can simply live my simple life. Where I am content and happy every moment where sacrifice is not very painful, so that life is not a drudgery even for a short while. So that I am mentally, physically and spiritually resting in God. By resting I mean no anxiety, no worries, no hurry, no tensions and no hustle and bustle.

Sometimes finding peace in city like gurgaon becomes very hard. We city people think of vacation for peace of mind for change. We don't enjoy the daily rush to office, daily overburdened tasks at office, long queues of cars and stuck in traffic, horrible power cuts, water drainage issue, rent issue, shifting issue, small fights over everything and gurgaon life gives so much of everything that you lose your peace very easily. But I remember that God says no matter what I will give you peace and rest just come to Me all you heavy and burdened. Sometimes we might ask God can you do a miracle and send me out of this town or most of impatient people like me sometimes do a weird request like God I know You and I am in safe zone can I come Home now (thinking like an immature kid).

But God I know that You have plans for me, and thats the reason I am in gurgaon and there should be no other good reason to be here. I know You brought me Here for purpose and unless its accomplished I will be here, whether I understand it or not, whether I like or not. I have called Him my Lord and my Master, I must obey. But God in midst of all this, I just thank You for all good things You have added in my life. For answering my prayer of a simple life. What a joy it is to be simple, teach me God not to be greedy and to be content with what I have.

Thank You God for 9:30 to 6:30 job, job where I enjoy working and look to work for You alone. God thank You for Your body, the local church who is more like a family to me, for my Mom and Rohan, then for my best friends and colleagues who are my extended family. Thank You God for Holy Spirit who is always with me, inspiring me, encouraging me, praying and interceding for me, loving me and being there for me. Thank You God for the cycle to travel, Oh! What a joy it is to ride it( only sports activity for me). Thank You for my boss and my office. Thank You for the governance who is taking care of the city. Thank You for all civil services people, thank You for the cobblers, for milkmen, for Hair cutters, for mall workers, for ice-cream sellers, for gardeners, for shopkeepers. For every single people on the street helping us to live a luxurious life. Thanks for helping us through all of them. May God bless all the people here, and strengthen us so that we can preach the good news to them and show them the love of Christ which we received freely for spreading it freely.

Thanks for making us simple and blessing us with simple life, but do I want to settle here, no I am not citizen of this place, my Hope and my eyes are set on You and for eternity. You my Rock, my salvation, my Redeemer, my lover for You alone I am alive and in You I find meaning of my life. May I always abide in You and in You alone and bear fruits for You.

Book Review: More than a Carpenter by Josh Mcdowell

I generally don't read books and neither am I a great book reader, therefore me review will also not sound that great and deep, indeed this is my first attempt towards a book review.

Source: Internet

Well lets know a bit about Author Josh Mcdowell, a graduate of wheaton College and magna cum laude graduate of Talbot Theological Seminary, is a travelling speaker for Campus Crusade for Christ and resident instructor at The Julian Center in Julian, California. He wrote many famous books which includes Evidence that Demands a Verdict and Secret of living. He is a visiting instructor at the International School of Theology and at the Simon Greenleaf School of law.

He is a well known author He have helped many young people and I have enjoyed listening to many of his talks. Josh is one of those people who will speak a very common and a young boy language. And such was his writing. I am not a very expert on any literature but his book was more about facts and data collection and as if building a case by providing multiple cross reference. Well this helps one to cross verify the authenticity about the topic Author is telling but its really amazing how people remember names and quote them appropriately.

This books observes very carefully about the Person of Jesus Christ, His claims, His life, His death and resurrection more through under a suspicious lenses. The Author discuss what Jesus said about Himself and what Christians believe about Him, and why do they do so? Its a very advocating approach to look at the case of Christianity. As he comes with various different points to prove the point that Jesus is more than a carpenter.

Well if you think you have doubts or intellectually or Historically Jesus(His life and resurrection) or you think why or why not this Historical fact be believed as truth? I would recommend you to read this book, as it carefully tackles this questions and give you some solid undeniable and reprovable proofs which he himself found very methodically. Its a must read for those who want to know the facts about Jesus.

One of my favorite quote from the book is

“In the Old Testament there are sixty major messianic prophecies and approximately 270 ramifications that were fulfilled in person Jesus Christ.”

I simply loved the way the book is written in simple language and a very informative and methodical way and cross reference make things very verifiable and thus trustworthy. If you have read the book as its a very old book please share your comments and if you have not, please pick one and read.

Letter to God: Listening to God

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for the privilege to allow us to call You Daddy, Abba Father and thus calling us Your sons. What a privilege to know my identity as a son of King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And really awesome to know You. I have always said even generations will pass away and words are falling like rains from our lips yet we will fall short to praise You.

I dont know about you but I have always been shaken by God after a short time of slumber. Sometimes He shout at me when I think I am doing good or other times I think this is more probably closet to correct answer that when I am on right path I hear Him very clearly and take Him seriously. I have been rebuked by God for being lazy and complacent, for not keeping my word and not doing things I ought to. But sometimes I am so busy to make my life sinless that I forget the other part of being Holy is to Obey the Word of God and to listen to Him and to Abide in Him. I thought avoiding sins will make me Holy but it doesnt, its God who makes us Holy, its when we give control to Him and not when we try manipulate it. I remember Satyaraju Uncle telling us clearly that you cannot force a tree to produce fruits, you cannot pretend or manipulate in bearing fruit. Its a natural process and it should be allowed that way alone.We must abide in Jesus to bear fruit, allow God to prune us. And rather being busy in solving your problems, hand it over to God and just surrender. Apostle John says in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive them” and what do we understand: “If we try our best to hide sins, just to be very near the danger line and to play with sin and not to sin and try best not to sin and God is happy with our performance” whom are you playing with. He is the Lord, The Creator God who knows the end from the beginning and one who is Alpha and Omega but at the same time remember Daddy God is not the Moral Headmaster who is standing with a whip waiting to watch who is the naughty kid who is sinning; No! He is the Loving Father who want us, to repent, to cry out to Him for help. Ask any parents they are waiting and always willing to help their kids, same and I would say more than that God takes care of us. His Son died for us, for this reason that we might be reconciled with Him. So that we restore the relationship with Him.

Dadda(Father) when you rebuke me I dont get annoyed but I feel humbled. I feel and I realized at least this time that how small I am, that how helpless I am yet not waste for You. You are still willing to use me, help me and through me You want to do great things. And it gives a lot of relief that its Your mission and its Your battle and I just have to surrender and align my will to Yours and rest everything will fall in place. Infact when I look into Your mission to save mankind it simple looks terrible and impossible to me but when I see that how You broke through my life and so many others that gives me Hope that if I can be saved, anybody can be saved.

Dadda like always this time too I have come to ask. And this time I want wisdom, wisdom to pray, to pray without ceasing, to pray for saints and for the ministry work. To indulge myself completely in knowing You, proclaiming You, growing in relationship with You at a deeper level. That I will not take control of the steering wheel of my life but I will give it in Your hands and drive through where You want me to be. I owe my life to You, and I am Your son by Your grace and servant by my choice and I look and take pleasure in serving You. I am proud to be Your son but remembering well that it cost You to send Your Son on earth. Thank You once again for life and very meaning and mission in our lives. Rest I look forward to write more and more letters to You. Till then “Blessed be Your Name, blessed be Your glorious Name”.

Your loving son,

Shushant

Social Saturdays: Crime ki kehke lenge

HALAAT INSAAN KO CRIMINAL BANA SAKTE HAIN

Recently the serial going on Red FM 93.5 called Crime ki keh ke Lenge Season 2. Though the name sounds a bit weird and a slang. But I really liked the concept of the program please read the tag line in there own language as below

Source: http://delhi.redfm.in

“Kabhi halaat toh kabhi dhokhadhadi ke shikar kuch log sahi aur galat raste mein fark nahin kar paate. Aur hamesha ke liye un par criminal ka thappa lag jaata hai.

Par wahi log badalne ki than lein toh kya aap unhein sahi rasta dikhayeinge?! Kya aap Crime Ki Keh Ke Lenge?Aapka pledge kiya hua amount jayega Delhi police ke Yuva foundtation ko jo aise hi naujawaano ko apne pairon par khada hone mein madad kar rahi hai. Aaiye aur support kijiye Red FM ke iss initiative ko taaki phir koi majboor galat raah par na jaaye.

Red FM Morning No. 1 pe Swati aur Rocky ke saath Crime Ki Keh Ke Lenge Season 2, Badlaav ka ek mauka banta hai.”

It basically a program where the call up some people who were arrested for wrong reasons and other times they were mistreated by police and the community. Other times they were cheated and sometimes they were forced to do wrong things. Some people are really innocent and just somehow trapped in the big net of trafficking. Law and system not able to solve all the cases and even if they do, how are those people treated in the society. Do we accept them back as normal human beings or just as downcast criminals.

Once you are labeled as criminal, you are always labeled life long, no matter even if they want to live a normal life again, are we willing to give them second chance. We play a very crucial role in this society by being a good samaritan. But think of it they are humans but not treated as one. They are thought as threat to the society and thus there is no employment for them and they are forced to take the road to crime. There are n number of stories where we are know the victim was just a poor man and he was blamed and he could not defend himself, maybe because lack of proper education and improper knowledge about one’s right given by the country. How many mafias force small kids in some kind of crime just because of their tender age and improper knowledge and for easy money.

Then comes the part of society where we look down to them. As the Bible clearly says that “we have all sinned and fallen short of God’s glory” and none of us are perfect. We all sin some or other way. You know I always think we the white collar people are so called “good” not by choice but its just lack of opportunity. A survey was done and asked people if you have a chance to rape a girl and probability of getting caught is nil; 90% people say they will do that. So think of it, aren't we similar to those criminals in our minds. But then we are white collar people after all the so called society is good because of us and those criminals are pests and they should be terminated from the country thats what we think. We never think what goes unto their lives who are in prison due to wrong reasons and even after they are free from the prison we create a virtual prison for them by labeling them “Criminals” and black color people. There is no mercy, forgiveness for them.We are humans we are bound to make mistakes and we are bound to make mistakes again and again. And if we make mistakes we need forgiveness from each other. We make mistakes again and again. Forgiveness is something we long for but we don't forgive other people because of one thing thats proud and ego and this brings a difference in the society of bad and good. If we accept our mistakes and if we forgive mistakes of others I think a lot of crimes can be stopped at very early stage. People don't chose to become criminals but the society forces them to become one, we have heard many times in so many places but it doesn't make any difference in our lives. Monsters are not born by themselves but society create them, its mostly our ego which stands against us. We talk about equality but not about forgiveness and second chance. Second chance what do you mean by that, I mean to accept them, to love them, to look at them with same respect we give to others. And as the golden rule of Bible says “Do unto others what you would like them to do to you” Matthew 7:12. Wear their shoes for sometime and think how they feel and what if you or some of your beloved are in their place how will you feel if the society looks down to you.“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them friends.” so said Abraham Lincoln and if we want to see a positive change in our lives and a criminal free society the formula is clear not to make new monsters/criminals in society by hating them but turning them into honest men and allowing them to become self respected and doing good jobs.

You might have heard the song: “Everyone needs forgiveness,The kindness of a Saviour;”  And the Saviour Jesus who forgave us said that you shall be forgiven if you forgive others. And if we give chance to those people they will be more than willing to live a better life.  

If you think they deserve a second chance with you join Red FM and Delhi Police Yuva foundation to get this people a better and a respectful job. Please visit http://delhi.redfm.in/pledge/index.aspx to support them. Come let us make a crime free society.

Choice- God's Part (A journal entry)

Part two of Choice

Read the part one: Here

The Journal entry: 10th April 2010

I shared the previous entry of my journal that how I chose Christ. But now I write the page after that. Title of the post is God who chooses us and not the other way round.( Later I got to know that it was not me who chose God but Holy Spirit convicted me to for my sins and told me more about Jesus who died on cross for me. And we also read this in John 15:16 where Jesus said “I choose you”)

Source:http://inuliwa.com/god-chose-you/#sthash.NJEu2dez.dpbs

I woke up early morning started praying to God. As discussed yesterday that God is just a prayer away I learned lot many things while I was on bed. I was confused what is happening. It was like God opened his door and asked me to walk in and to trust him then I was encouraged and I was confident that I chose Jesus as my savior as my Lord. Spoke to Aveek about the same and he made me study some very beautiful verses. I was really joyful. Then we got the message from Church “You cannot be the slave of two masters! You will like one more than the other or be more loyal to one than other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24. (Interestingly I didn’t knew that the context of verse was different but still it was to chose one master)

It is hard really very hard to forget or to disbelieve thing that you followed and obeyed for twenty years. And but then God is love and so lovable that I can leave all this. God I pray, I pray that let not any obstacle stop me to come to you now I don’t have the privacy to speak with you but my heart is pure God I love you and I know even I don’t say and ask you will give you have grace on all you love your all children. I am trying my level best to fight myself. And please help me Lord. I Love you God.

PS: I have done some changes which I think was a grammatical error. I have not edited much and have tried to copy the journal entry as it is.  

Happy Birthday Rohan

Rohan at the age of 3

Today's post is dedicated to my small brother Rohanpreet. Thank you God for sending him in our lives. Because truly he is a blessing in our lives. We have a small happy family of three members; Mom, Rohan and me. Few years before when I moved to gurgaon I was alone and use to stay with my some my friends. If you read my past story how I longed for love and family. I would have never understood the true meaning of life and family if God would have not chose me. If I would have not met Jesus. Thank you Lord for telling me what does it mean to have a family. I was a rebel from childhood thus never ever really focused on family. And then I went to stay in hostel and you read in self made man that how my ideology of life was changed and everything I was and wanted to be revolved only around I, me and myself.

And yes our family was incomplete without Rohan, kids are really blessing from God.I was only child of my mom until eighteen years of my life, until Rohan walked in our lives. Initially we stayed away but later we started staying together as family. More than a brother, Rohan is like my son. And I care for him, love him just as I would love to do with my own kids. He is my best friend, ally at home, we are team against mom, we are the kids of the home and we share lot of things at common. Whenever one of us make mistake, we both get scoldings, as much as Rohan is afraid of mom, I am too. He is mostly like me. But he is more clever than me. I have seen growing before my eyes.

I so thank God, when he prays small prayers in the name of Jesus. When he sings the praise and worship songs, I just thank God that from childhood he is getting to know Jesus. I am also glad that he is really privileged to attend Sunday school at Church. And he is always excited about same. Really I want to thank God for choosing our family and keeping us under His provision and love.

Every time Rohan makes mistake, my mom will say “Dono bhai ek jaise” meaning “Both of them are alike”. Sometimes I laugh that we both are mischievous and sometime I just see myself in Rohan and wonder even I did the same mistake. When my mom says why dont you correct him, I say I make the same mistakes how can I correct him, what if someday he says, “Do to others what you would like them do to you”. So many areas I first discipline myself and then teach Rohan.

I have to take care of both of my family members with love and affection. Lead them spiritually, by the help of God. May God give me strength and wisdom to guide them, love them, to take care of them.

Choice - My part

I give you a small background about what I am going to share. As I shared in previous post about my conversion, I also want to share my journal entries of past. I wrote this way back in April 2010 when I really accepted Jesus. This is the time when I have been to Church few times and started arguing with Aveek and Ryan about Christianity and other Religions also, without really knowing what it means to accept Jesus I told Ryan yes I accept Him my Savior and Lord. Then later how I found out what it really means to say so. I will add several things in the text I wrote back then but I will try to keep it as genuine as possible. (And please read the disclaimer before commenting or thinking anything about it.)

Source: http://www.transportationissuesdaily.com

The Journal entry: 9th April 2010

Today I think started the day with a prayer and I want to know what love is. Love is the grace of God He gave us His only Son to us so that we can be saved. I plan something and that doesn’t happens I get discouraged; couple of times but still I believe whatever happens it is for good. We had Housegroup meeting* today I was part of it we had fun over there we shared our names, where we come from and our favorite Bible character. My favorite character is of course Jesus the symbol of Love.

Well that was a good get together and Ryan prayed for everyone out there I liked their unique way to come together and to pray for each other raising the brotherhood.

Well I was always a guy who wants everything for eg. If you have three flavors of Ice-cream I would like thereof them to be tasted. This was not an exact example but I want to share that how I choose things in life.(# Basically what I really meant here then was I was a pantheist and I always through all roads lead to God and no matter whose name I call on I will be saved) But this time It was high time for me to choose either of the two things and what are they:

1. My beliefs on other things which I kept believing for long 20 years my lifetime
2. Lord Jesus

I had choice to choose either one. (# I use to wear astrological ring, some thread on neck and had some idols at home. And I was in two boats because I thought I can have all of them together but not this time my friend who shared Christ with me Aveek asked this tough question Choose today whom will you serve to Jesus or option a(above)? He told you have enough time think through it and answer it? I wrote this when I went home that day. I took off my rings and the thread and kept the idol facing ground the very same day. I was really convinced about this Living God and His Love for me.)

 
We can either choose one of them? And I am sure I have chose Jesus and sooner or later I will know why, how and where? But I have trust on Him is not based on any fear or any greediness but on the purest part of all that is Love. I love Him, respect Him and not to anyone else. One thing is sure when you trust someone and have faith on someone put it wholeheartedly and that is true you can only do it to one master and He is my master the father of all Jesus.

# All things in Italic are my recent changes and commentary. I want to add I really didn’t knew what I am writing and why I am doing but interesting enough one small word which made me do is Faith and as you all know the journey is all about faith for which I thank God. Like a small kid without much resistance I was sure that I will follow Him.

*Housegroup in some places known as cell group is a small gathering of few families of Church they meet over a meal and they discuss about the week and life. It’s a close fellowship with believer of Church on a weekday

Yes, I am a convert

Enough hitting around the bush I have been telling you boring stories of my past but actually I was telling you the hardships I went through it was actually the bad phase of my life. How I failed in all areas of my life. My life, career, education, philosophy of life, love and many other which I will keep telling you. (If you have not read all underlined words have hyper link to related posts you can read them)

I was hopeless, meaningless and at many stages I thought no one cares for me and its better to die. Many of you will be shocked, in past I dreamt about committing suicide every day and use to plan simple and quick painless death. I thought I am worthless and I cannot do anything. And few times I cannot do anything. And few times I use to write silly things but I was just in a viscous cycle of life-problems-sex-drugs-abuse-death though I never abused drugs or took alcohol but still I use to think that way. Trust me life was meaningless. I use to feel like a bond slave of pleasure and pain. And mostly pain and pleasures meant just ways to escape pain partly but temporary achievements. But I must mention one of the G.K Chesterton's quotes Dr. Ravi Zacharias uses “Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain, meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.” But when you are exhausted by every kind of pleasure and you have found nothing, no pleasure can really satisfy us. I didn't knew sin and satan are real at that time. But I felt the burden of evil and suffering all around and it was visible in my life because I was not able to sleep at all, every time I tried to sleep this questions haunted me, where am I going? Who am I? where am I? what do I want? and who can save me? What is love? Is it for real? what is real? is that for me and questions with no end. And as I told I was blind having no idea of reality. The darkness was not just around it was within. Therefore everything was dark. Black no light, no life and no hope.

What was life - get up, go to office meet silly people, make friends to just use them for selfish gain and just to kill some time, talk about money and sex thats all. Come home no sleep, questions of purpose and meaning haunting you day and night. Mind was never at rest. Always baffled with what is right and what is wrong? Am I moving in right direction? But question was where am I going. I didn't knew that problem was not outside but was within, there was no way coming out of it. The problem of evil is its not a problem but a mystery we cannot fully understand as we are part of it. We have to come to semi-transcendental point where we can know about the problem but not resolve it ultimately. Consider we are in dark room and there is no light; can we understand that we are in darkness? Similarly its not that sin is all around and we cant see it, we are blindfolded and also responsible for sin and are in sin therefore we cannot always see ourselves as sinner and whenever someone tries to tell us about the same our first response is aren't you a man like me how can you call me a sinner? As Vivekananda says its sin to call a man sinner? But there is a problem in this are we implying there is no such thing as sin? No darkness? But its really cant you see but how can we know darkness exists because light exists and then how do we know about sin because we have broken the law given by God. God is that light which let me know there is something as bright and dark, Good and evil.

Then I tell you how I met God? The above things of good and bad. About Meaning and hope, light, and about life. This was all secondary in my life. The most important thing that was going on my head was this, you might have heard this quote “ Every human longs to be understood, and loved” and also I remember every body needs forgiveness a second chance and I was longing for this mainly. And I told you about my love(failure) story that how I searched it in wrong places and in wrong person and failed miserably that I started doubted the existence of such thing known as love. And I was so broken and meaningless that I had no purpose and virtue left to live for.

And I met Ryan my friend at IGNOU where we both were studying BCA and he told me about Jesus in the way no one really told me ever before, as I never read before. And also met Aveek who made me think through scriptures and through what I though scriptures but are mythologies. More than that Ryan took me to Church and where I found the body of Christ and His love through the body. For the first time I found love in this family. And then I started reading Bible and the words of Bible ans specially words of Jesus were making a lot of sense and it were giving new meaning to my life. Everything Jesus said was opposite of what I have learned in past. It was challenging me to think deeper and His words give me new meaning in my life. His words changed the definition of God and He became my best friend. His words were only escape from this boring, monotonous life. I was understanding that what does it mean to human. I started get answers of my questions of who am I? Why I am here? What is love? Who made us? And why God made us? And not only that I got answers by I started experiencing the love God more an more in my every day life. I learned and started practicing faith and by faith knowing this God whom I love. In Jesus I found that friend who answered all my questions, who knows me completely and who was willing to forgive me. I then experienced God and understood what is sin and how it separated me from God and His love and how I have rebelled against Him. And how I have become proud and thus how I was responsible for the miserable condition of my life. But Jesus was willing to forgive me and how He gave me this second chance to live this life again, a fresh start, a new beginning and giving eternal hope. His(Jesus') life,death and resurrection was central of my life and this was great plan of God to save mankind and thus not only that it is written in scripture but Holy Spirit explained and I experienced it in my day to day life and it gave me breakthrough from the viscous circle of life-problems-sex-drugs-abuse-death and Jesus' word “ I am the WAY and the TRUTH and the LIFE and no one comes to Father except through me” John 14:6 is the sentence which shook me completely and because of this I gave my life to Him.

The day I gave life was also normal, bur exta-ordinary in other sense. Many think the conversion or when people telling their testimonies always have something super miraculous but I dont think it was the case with me. So this was an ordinary day I was hanging out with Aveek, Ashish and Ryan on late friday night and Aveek told me that you cannot serve two masters and you cannot love two different persons at sametime calling them your lord. He told me to chose, chose between Jesus and all other and in next post I will also share my journal entry in which I mentioned the same. Question was there I was asked to chose. Chose between Jesus and all that I have believed last 20 years and that was something I was not prepared for. It was time to take a stand. As I read somewhere “If you dont stand for anything, then you will fall for anything”. And I realize that how crucial that choice was. Some of my friends always said in office that Christians are made they convert people and then ask to throw all the idols out of the home and they ask them to disbelieve all other things and they ask you to change your religion. In midst of all this I never thought I will change my religion, but wait a second religion, you have read(My school of thoughts) what I thought then. It was a choice that I have to make and which will really change everything in my life. And it did. So what do you think what I chose. I chose Jesus and that changed my life. All this journey really began from thus although journey goes back to the beginning because ultimately History is His-story which we are small parts. All my posts are example of what I have experienced and lived my life since then. And you all know my life have never been the same again and yes everyday changing. And I will continue to share my journey experience.

P.S. Title was an inspiration by Anand Mahedevan http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?238770

Feelings

I wonder what a man will be without moods. How will he look, how distinguished he will be? Will the most commonly asked question “How are you?” will make any sense. Will we express ourselves fully. Or how will we practice all those virtues and emotions we describe everyday. Feelings are something we are wired with. Sometimes happy and other times sad? Some time relaxed and other time hurried? Some time enthusiastic and other time sick? and the list goes on and on. But I cannot imagine a person without moods he will sound or look just like a robot and I don't think he should be called human.

Source:http://www.crayonbeats.com/motel-eola-feelings/

However this feelings (our moods ) makes us and tells more about our character. One should know to take control of his moods otherwise he is called immature. So what’s the best thing and whats the wrong way. We can take two extremes when dealing with feelings. Either we can reject them or we can indulge completely in them. As I remember learnt from CS Lewis Any extreme love toward anything except extreme love to God can be dangerous. So we must not take any extreme but master the art of controlling those feelings. And thats what I think is known as “Self Control” but we all know the Bible categorize it as one the fruits of Spirit. Which basically means when we are controlled by Holy Spirit then only we can have Self control. Interesting logic but try it, trying keeping any virtue by your own strength sincerely for a longer period and you will find yourself failing, and try giving control to God and you will find yourself conquering all the impossible looking failures. I know most of Christians experience this in his day to day life, I just wrote this for my own remembrance as well for benefit for those who love to be reminded.

I just want to remind people who struggle with mood swings and think they fail again and again and they go through a guilt trip thinking they are worse creatures? People who think they cannot produce good feelings at all? People who suffer with bad feeling? Temptation(yielding to it) and facing other challenges?  I just want to remind you we are humans and we fall short and we are not perfect. And we are in the process of sanctification and not sanctified completely yet. Thus we all are in same boat “ under construction” and mind you! we will until Jesus comes the second time and we get glorified bodies.

So why do we keep doing what we don't want to and not doing what we are suppose to. I thought I could never answer this completely but recently saw the movie Rise of Guardians and in that Santa asks Jack Frost that what is at your core? By giving example using Matryoshka doll(Nested doll).

[North(Santa claus) is trying to explain to Jack what a "center" is, using a nesting doll. Jack takes it apart and sees at the center...]

Jack: (dryly) There's a tiny wooden baby.

North: Look closer. What do you see?

Jack: You have big eyes...

North: Yes! Big eyes, very big, because they are full of wonder. That is my center. It is what I was born with, eyes that have only seen the wonder in everything! Eyes that see lights in the trees and magic in the air. This wonder is what I put into the world, and what I protect in children. It is what makes me a guardian. It is my center, what is yours?

Jack: I don't know.(Source: wikimedia)

I really like the question of Santa that what is at your core? What makes you ? Who you are? And not once I have asked myself a lot of times what’s at my core? I found the answer is heart and Jesus says “For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” (Matthew 15:19) And I found that at core I am evil  separated from God. Or in other words dead, blind and wretched. And the problem of evil is that its not a problem but a mystery, as we are tied with it that its not something we just do externally but it have a source in our hearts. Its in our core, we were born sinners. Thats why God just don't want some time of us, some change from us, some behavioral change, or sacrifice but he simply wants us, so that He can change our core. Only He can do that because He created us and He alone knows the best why we are created and not only that the fuel we were suppose to run was nothing other than God. Thus He is creator(God who created us;Genesis 1:26), redeemer (He is our redemption and redeemer Job 19:25; Ps. 19:14; 78:35; Isa. 41:14; 43:14; Jer. 50:34, Galatians 3:13, Col. 1:25) and sustainer(Psalm 54:4) who lives in us. We serve this Trinity God in three head, Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Unless we allow God to change our core we cannot see any change in our lives.

Either the feelings controls you or you allow God to control you. If you come to God, He promise to give you a heart of flesh and new spirit(Ezekiel 11:19) and thus changing your core. And thus making you a new man. Yet choice remains to you? Will you allow him or not.