Come lets Dance...

    I have a small four year old brother his name is Rohan. I was thinking and talking to God and to myself in balcony suddenly he came and went back dancing in a weird style and I was reminded of my childhood.
    I was reasoning in my mind what made him dance? Then as I was pondering on it I thought to myself what stops me from dancing? And that’s where I again learned the lesson and the difference is may be our age/maturity/thinking/worrying/rational thinking and etc. But I agreed basic difference was enthusiasm and being simply free for which above given barriers should not affect. He is energetic and free because he doesn’t have to think much about life perhaps for him dancing is an integral part of living for him. But what about you and me the so called grown ups why are we acting so strict and matured? are we not allowed to move the body and shake it up as we wish. No! wait you are Christian you are not allowed to act weird! You are suppose to have a long face and Hallelujah! on your mouth always? Maintain some discipline some basic decorum, aren't we called to be different?
    Why are we sad? Why that long face or are we too busy chasing an American dream. Even if we are busy have we ever stopped and asked why so work so hard? What do you earn? Don’t you want that leisure and fun at the end of the day? Or we are bond slave of work and peer pressure? Or is it that we don't have liberty to enjoy. Why is that when we think of entertainment someone else have to perform for us, may it be the cricket team or other celebrities dancing on the idiot box. Or you know pay and go to theatre to see the professionals dancing and then to comment “Oh! my isn't it so sweet!”. But what about you? Can't you dance?
    But if we are happy and we have to show what should we do. If we are free and indeed not slave to anything then what is stopping you? Come lets break this unmade and untaught but never changing rules and regulations and as the Cadbury Gems advertisement says “रहो उमरलेस (Raho umarless)’’(stay ageless). Come on the dance floor and lets move the body! Lets dance again! Let the storm of happiness that you have received from God be visible with your actions.
    I remember what King David “I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes” Because he said he was dancing for the Lord and how joyful and pleasant it is to know the God and rejoice in Him. And what does David says in Psalm 30: 11 “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,” Do we need any more reason than this to dance and rejoice in our Lord. He have filled our hearts with overflowing joy and love. Should not that aroma spread in the world. Don't store that love in your hearts just let it flow.

P.S.: Here dancing doesn’t necessarily means Physical dance but it means to break free.To be calm and in peace and to do the things you love like for example: write, cook, sing, ride a bike, gardening, take a trip or simply just be yourself.

God whispers...

                  
    Every Friday or almost everyday I write a letter to Dad (God) asking for something and mostly thanking for the things around. But yesterday I was writing and thinking about organizing and making a new routine. Frustrated over my lifestyle wanted to complete so many tasks that are pending and I was weighing my daily routine and achievements against them. Though I don’t jot out all my plans but I am under a constant threat of this unknown, unwritten task list on my head. Everyday a new task is added in that list. I don’t know even if this list ever going to finish. But I constantly keep thinking and pondering on it. Just like some animals who eat grass in a process where first they just cut and swallow it and later in leisure time they sit and chew it properly. My brain is such a device that it is always thinking and working on that list updating, modifying, checking progress, cutting, making new notes, adding new tasks something or other is always going on; even in the dreams it doesn’t take rest.
    In such a moment God reminded me of a verse “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 And I was thinking what is this? But then I started reading the chapter and not the whole chapter but the passage starting from verse 25 where Jesus asking his disciples not to be anxious about anything, for every needed will be taken care by Father (Daddy) who loves us. Wonderful, whenever God speaks to me I am convinced and I tell Him just one thing that Your ways are higher than mine and I know You love me and You want best for me. You know what all my problems are His. He is my Dad who knows me. Who told me “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 and that’s what makes me drop all my plans and all my dreams behind and look forward to “the plans” of the Lord for me and delight in them. For He calls me His son, and He is my Rabbi (my teacher) who shall guide me and lead me in the way of truth and righteousness. Thank you God for whispering to me, for your whispers is commandments for me and I want to obey them. Because I am called to walk by faith and not by sight.

My School of thoughts part two

 {You read what I use to think here in part one. Here comes the second part.}

My values were self made like well known thinkers; wherever I will found benefit I will take the argument from there and shift the ally towards it and use it. For example eating Non-veg I would say Muslims they eat it always what's wrong in that or when it would come about reincarnation I would explain it with Hinduism and so on and on. I would follow anything that suited me best. Later my teachers some atheists did try to damage my beliefs but was not able to do so. Because he believed there is nothing supernatural and I believed there is only One whom or which I know not and understand not but the one above. And later my problems were so big sometime I doubted whether really God exist or not. But I was agnostic open to arguments but a hidden pantheist believing somewhere someone must be there otherwise it doesn’t make sense. Astrology, numerology, palmistry were some believes I loved to play with but never believed them to be true. I hated all the rules and laws given and that would really make me go away and hide somewhere and think if God really exists?

God for me was like a man made genie to which I went only in the time of need, asking for something and saying in return I will do something good, behave good, fast or visit a pilgrimage that too naked feet and so on. He was like someone who was like a vending machine take some offering of sacrifice and murmur the mantras controlling the magical words like passwords only difference you have to enter it at least for 108 times then your wish might be answered. Whether he answers or not I had the right to get angry on him even for creating me. If created why not in good home with riches and all provision why so many trouble. One hand I doubt whether he existed or not and on other I blamed him for everything.

And I use to think and doubt whether God is an idea or person. Because in faith that I was raised everything absolutely everything is god or there is a god in it. We worshiped handmade idols of woods, stones and wax and anything. I was taught nature: wind, water, trees and animals are to be worshiped because there are gods in it. For everything there is god even for rain, land, wisdom, health, wealth and no matter what and keep on pleasing them to get them. Like a shopping mall just keep offering work and praises and get whatever you desire, but for what just to live the life and after that die and become an animal once again. For some times I use to believe in this idea and got convinced that this god is just a power and nothing else. That’s the difference for me god was just an idea. And at other times I was baffled with question of salvation and the question of life after death and problem of evil all around. I had unknown, thousands of question which were unanswered by any of the faith I tried. This god was my idea or just my creation; I never thought who the real creator is? Question of my purpose of my life was unanswered? My origin was that I am evolved from monkeys and I believed it. And I defined my own morality whatever I feel right is good and whatever I feel wrong is wrong. How good it is and a good escape from any form or question of sin? (Infact the word sin and its implication came much later after knowing Jesus and laws of God).

But when I use to be in a big mess and lot of problem; I really use to cry out to this unknown God whom I doubted and knew not that time that please tell me why I am here? I longed to know many many questions which troubled me day and night but as I never found them very interesting than my passing life I kept them under the blanket and tried to hide them behind my cunning face until I was completely exhausted. Somewhere I was searching for the truth and this hidden God, whom I knew not? For a Savior whom I knew not? For a messiah who will give me life? For a person who will love me? For a creator who will answer all my questions; One who will tell me why He created me and what does He want from me?

You know what I will tell you I found all this in my Savior and my Lord Jesus Christ whom I follow and I will also tell you how, just wait for the next few posts.

Lesson from children

source: revasantry.wordpress.com

I have shared with you before also that I struggle in being still. So every sunday I do something or other, so this sunday our church had Young couple's fellowship( A marriage seminar organised by our church) and I also went to K-22 our church office. No not for attending marriage counselling but to take care of children. To help Debbie, Madhavi aunty, Neelima di and Jacob bhaiya. Most interesting period and it was second time I was doing this activity voluntarily for church.

What's the catch? Have you heard if you want to learn, try teaching. Well I learned by observing. So this children were having pastries when I reached, quite peaceful time but soon the rush started when they started pushing each other, not eating pastry completely and started shouting water- water. Then Debbie told them story of Joseph. And as activity they had to make the Joseph's colorful coat. And it was fun to see how everyone made it but some were doing but after half they left others just didn't wanted to do the same. And then we moved to story telling, there same thing was repeated. And we kept on shouting to make them quiet. We tried telling whoever will do good will get chocolate and all tricks just to keep them engaged. Every minute we have to keep eye on them, keep on repeating same mistake and we kept trying and trying and shouting and guiding them. Not only the motive was to keep them engaged but also to keep them safe from getting hurt.
And midst of all this I was observing them carefully and suddenly I started thinking what I can learn out of this and what should I observe. You know we learn a lot from observing. And the lesson that I learnt yesterday was we are like those small children and God the Father the guardian who is looking after us day and night without fail because He knows even for a minute if He stops looking at us everything will go haywire. And I really marvel at God and I always I think that how patient God is with me(us). When I was looking at those little children not listening to their teacher who was leading they were making so much of noise and doing whatever they want not paying attention not able to understand what's going on? I was just scratching my head and time and again patiently, compassionately tried my best with a smile and care tried to tell them that listen to teacher.
The hardest thing for a kid to do is to be quiet and listen and obey. Ah! They are hyperactive they want to do things, if nothing jumping here and there and hoping and popping, shouting and screaming, dancing and singing. So am I against any of this activity or a parent/teacher against any of this activity? No! but there is a time and place to do the right thing at right time. But they don’t want to listen to the guardian’s instruction,they will mess up things and go nowhere. And only thing to make this correct we have to shout loudly and when everyone is quiet and listening everything suddenly start falling in place and we enjoy everything one by one every activity; whether it is jumping, singing or dancing.( On other hand God don't shout on us but gently whisper in our ears).
Same is true in our lives we are energetic and enthusiastic and we have so many plans and so much strength and we must execute those plans and use our strengths somewhere. Now same here not all the activities are wrong and not even the intentions but whats wrong is the order and priority we often mess up in this area. And I am sure you must have experienced this in your lives too that when you exhaust every single plan and broken you go to God (Head Guardian) and you surrender everything under his feet and then you start listening to Him everything falls in place automatically. Only requirement in both the situations are same that we must be still and listen and act accordingly so that everything have a meaning. Be still and Know that I am God.(Psalm 46:10)

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.(Proverbs 16:9).Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.(Proverbs 19:21) No matter how many plans and actions we sought its ultimately the purpose of Lord that shall be done. Then should we not stop and ask the Author and Perfector of faith and lives to guide us in His ways.....

My school of thoughts

So far I hope you read about my life career, education and also about my
love life now I will tell you about my philosophy (my school of thought). What shaped my view on religion and what was my theology before knowing Christ and also all my stories I told you are off course meeting Christ I am giving you brief background before telling Why I followed Jesus and How it that encounter has changed my life. This are my personal thoughts and I am not writing any hate speech or anything bad against any religion or belief but this are my personal reflections on them, so if you are hurt by any of my such writing I sincerely request him not to take it personally but rather think deeper on same.
I was born In Hindu family so off course naturally I was informed about the Hindu mythology of Ramayana, Mahabharata, Vedas, puranas and also about so many deities which I still don’t know the exact number. And as a small kid without much questioning I followed because my parents followed. But later when I started growing and going to school and started thinking my view changed and I was exposed to secular world and so many religions and so many school of thoughts along with those religions; each with their own explanations about life and god and goddesses. Difficult to know which one is right. I was born rebel against anything and everything. I am both stubborn and rebellious from childhood for everything single thing I demanded explanation and reason. I hated some silly and awkward rules my parents and friends told me as common as not touching food with left hand, not playing with scissors or two metal sticks, not writing on ground and I don’t know what and unless someone gave me answer which would satisfy me I would go crazy and do it unless you give me a proper reason.
I studied blind faith from books like sati, child marriage, untouchability, caste system though many reformers have already eradicated this long back but when I studied my mind really made me think if this are abolished why can’t other illogical ones can be done away with? But too small to argue with anyone else except my mom and she use to say we never asked our parents why do you ask? Asking too many questions was also not allowed.
As I grew bigger I was convinced with secularism which our country practices and I am thankful for same. Perfect example of Unity in Diversity and didn’t try to dig deeper in the subject of religion and faith but always had perfect arguments against blind faith. I took interest in understanding Islam with help of some friends kept Ramzan fast called “Roza”. Hinduism in itself is so large never understood it completely and land by land the deity changes that its even difficult to remember all the stories and names. For every single thing they have a god or goddesses. Then as I told you my Mom married late in 2007 in a sikh family there I was exposed to Sikhism for some time. I tried understand that too visited gurudwaras and heard their stories and what they preach. But after all this search I was thinking I am Mr. Know it all, who know everything and he is multicultural and a true Indian and I was proudly a pantheist. But reality is I know nothing about any of this religion and I am jack of all trades. In next part we will talk more about same... till then keep thinking.

Temporary residence

Yesterday I helped a friend shifting her stuff to a new place where she will stay with her friends. She is also a migrant like most of us, Gurgaon is urban city where everyone has come to work, only few call it their home and others just call it a place to earn money and gain experience from their work.

Enjoyed staying here in rented room and we have to move to one place to another from time to time. Sometimes because of rent and other times due to landlord, job change or other priorities we keep changing. We stay somewhere for years and in some for few months. The landlords became our family and our friends and the close relationship makes the place warm and doesn't allow us to change or shift our rooms. Not once many a times I have gone through this because I have always stayed in a rented place and kept migrating from one place to other.  But I always think about a place to call home and I have never found it yet. A home sweet home. I think its not only me but every single soul longs to return to the place called home where he is loved and respected, where he can be himself and take rest.

But can we found such place here? I don't think so because we are not of this world as Apostles told us to be aliens and strangers in this world. Apostle Paul says do not conform to the patterns of this world. Again Apostle John says Do not love the world.And Apostle James and Peter reminded us that we are here for a short while and then we shall return to Lord Author and perfecter of our lives. As He promised that He is going to Father to create a place for us and He will come back and take us with Him.(John 14:3) So where do we look at what should be our attitude toward the place where we are staying and where we are heading.(Colossians 3:1-2)

Sometimes we are so attached to this temporary place that somehow we get convinced that we are citizen of this place and not lies ahead. Its like on journey I put camp for a halt and now I say this is my destiny I will not move ahead. We should really think if Lord comes today are we willing to leave the earth or say no to Him saying I am good here and I have adjusted well, why don't you give your blessings here?

Letter to God: A small prayer

Dear Dad,

I love You Dad and thank You for everything You have done for us. I am really awestruck for the way You love us. Inspite of all my shortcomings You never give up on us and we are thankful for same.
You are unchanging God; one who never changes and neither does Your love. You love us with unconditional love(Agape) we are not worthy of this love but just because of You only You and Your character which is love(unconditional) I can exist and enjoy and know about love and think about love. Understand the greatest commandment Love your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. (Matthew 22:37) Apostle John tells its You who loved us first not we(1 John 4:19). But our love is just a small expression and overflow of Your love dwelling in our hearts. We were darkness and our heart is desperately wicked.(Jeremiah 17:9) But You oh Lord You have given us a heart of flesh and indwelling of Holy Spirit; living waters flows from our heart.(Ezekiel 36:26)
A lot of things that I know not? Many questions remains unanswered but yet we know those questions are just thoughts but does this questions will stop me following and experiencing You my loving God. Above all questions my heart longs to see You, feel You, speak to You and hear from You. I love You and know You as living God who cares for me, loves me inspite of all my shortcomings and my sinful rebellion against You.
A lot goes around the world everyday, every single second politics, economics, lifestyle, entertainment, social studies, education and science. Every single day they haunt us Daddy but its a pleasure to know that You are sovereign over all thing and all things are in Your control. That nothing is out of Your knowledge and not under Your control; that You have planned each and everything and as Your word promises that “All things God works for those who have been called according to his purpose”. (Romans 8:28) And You are looking after us in midst of all thing heaps and heaps of problem, Your grace is showered on us without fail. And You walk with us in all this problems and help us have peace in our hearts which surpasses all the understanding. God teach me to come out of my shell and marvel at You, Your beauty and all Your never ending wonders. Allow me to praise You for who You are. Without Your eyes I am blind but I know You gave sight to all blind who asked to You and I am sure You have restored my sight help me see the things You want me to see and not what I think I should see. Teach me and guide me to walk in Your ways.

Thanking You,
Your disobedient but loving son,
Shushant