Red glasses

A journal entry of recent past:

Source: Google images

I am influenced or I am suffering from some disease I can see red everywhere. Jag lal! Lal Lal lage hai mujhko(The world appears Red! Red and only Red to me). The red here means arts, creativeness, design, beauty, colors, music in everything. It seems that creative people are always wearing this glasses, I feel like sometimes I choose to wear this glasses all the time but something within me just forces me to pretend and take those red glasses out and see everything normal and boring, monotonous and as they are dull.

   So the question is always asked is there beauty in the flower or the eyes who sees and appreciate it. The dawn and dusk are always the same, why is it some days we just love to gaze at it and other time we are busy cursing it and minding our own business.

   I am extraordinarily happy today and all because of music and the red glasses which I choose to wear. I waited patiently, took break from all the corporate greys and see the red within everything. I stopped and thought what the song meant, why the singer is so happy or sad. What is he feeling? What does he mean? I saw the ceiling and asked myself what was the architect thinking when he made this? I saw the pattern all square and asked he must be very organised person. I spoke to my friend and while speaking I observed weird background at my cafeteria and I thought those buildings what do they mean to me and what was the original idea behind putting it here and why it doesn't bother people who don't like, or they don't say anything because they don't care about it? ;-) I love the fonts I use in my Open office called “Joti one”. I love my phone which allows me to take random photos. I am very happy that I have pencil to draw. I am happy that I can make funny letters. I am happy for my job which allows me to sit on a computer and internet and learn so many things.

  

I don't know why I keep giving excuses and saying that I don't have time for arts even knowing well thats truly colorful me. I say a movie long back called Mars needs Moms where supervisor have deceived the martians to believe in a lie and have made things very programmed and runned only with instructions and very less of emotions are seen, they are not allowed to live as families and there is nothing called as love and arts. People are just living under orders, under strict manners. And everything is straight line and programmed which reminded me of other movies like Wall-E and Equilibrium where the Directors have tried to show the struggle between the emotions vs programs(reasoning). One hand in equilibrium emotions are illegal and in wall-e people have forgot what does it mean to live without gadgets and what it emotion really means and they don't talk, they don't love, they don't nurture relationships and I love the way Wall-e the weird robot changes everything. And in Mars Needs Mom how Ki is that person who is fond of arts but she pretends to be just like others and I find myself always doing like that. But later she recognises the lie of the supervisor and rescues everyone. I feel like ki and wall-e most of the times.(I love the tagline of Wall-e After 700 years of doing what he was built for - he'll discover what he's meant for.)

one of my sketch

   I don't know if all this make sense to many of you folks but this is what goes on in my mind whenever I hear the word “WEIRD”. I live in my own world. The colorful world, I fall down, I sing, I dance and I appreciate even small and minute arts in all things. I am sure you can see the world with a different lens if you want you can borrow my red glasses and try to see world differently.

And I remember what Word of God says:

Though the fig tree does not bud

   and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

   and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

   and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

   I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;

   he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

   he enables me to tread on the heights. Habakkuk 3:17-19

Feelings

I wonder what a man will be without moods. How will he look, how distinguished he will be? Will the most commonly asked question “How are you?” will make any sense. Will we express ourselves fully. Or how will we practice all those virtues and emotions we describe everyday. Feelings are something we are wired with. Sometimes happy and other times sad? Some time relaxed and other time hurried? Some time enthusiastic and other time sick? and the list goes on and on. But I cannot imagine a person without moods he will sound or look just like a robot and I don't think he should be called human.

Source:http://www.crayonbeats.com/motel-eola-feelings/

However this feelings (our moods ) makes us and tells more about our character. One should know to take control of his moods otherwise he is called immature. So what’s the best thing and whats the wrong way. We can take two extremes when dealing with feelings. Either we can reject them or we can indulge completely in them. As I remember learnt from CS Lewis Any extreme love toward anything except extreme love to God can be dangerous. So we must not take any extreme but master the art of controlling those feelings. And thats what I think is known as “Self Control” but we all know the Bible categorize it as one the fruits of Spirit. Which basically means when we are controlled by Holy Spirit then only we can have Self control. Interesting logic but try it, trying keeping any virtue by your own strength sincerely for a longer period and you will find yourself failing, and try giving control to God and you will find yourself conquering all the impossible looking failures. I know most of Christians experience this in his day to day life, I just wrote this for my own remembrance as well for benefit for those who love to be reminded.

I just want to remind people who struggle with mood swings and think they fail again and again and they go through a guilt trip thinking they are worse creatures? People who think they cannot produce good feelings at all? People who suffer with bad feeling? Temptation(yielding to it) and facing other challenges?  I just want to remind you we are humans and we fall short and we are not perfect. And we are in the process of sanctification and not sanctified completely yet. Thus we all are in same boat “ under construction” and mind you! we will until Jesus comes the second time and we get glorified bodies.

So why do we keep doing what we don't want to and not doing what we are suppose to. I thought I could never answer this completely but recently saw the movie Rise of Guardians and in that Santa asks Jack Frost that what is at your core? By giving example using Matryoshka doll(Nested doll).

[North(Santa claus) is trying to explain to Jack what a "center" is, using a nesting doll. Jack takes it apart and sees at the center...]

Jack: (dryly) There's a tiny wooden baby.

North: Look closer. What do you see?

Jack: You have big eyes...

North: Yes! Big eyes, very big, because they are full of wonder. That is my center. It is what I was born with, eyes that have only seen the wonder in everything! Eyes that see lights in the trees and magic in the air. This wonder is what I put into the world, and what I protect in children. It is what makes me a guardian. It is my center, what is yours?

Jack: I don't know.(Source: wikimedia)

I really like the question of Santa that what is at your core? What makes you ? Who you are? And not once I have asked myself a lot of times what’s at my core? I found the answer is heart and Jesus says “For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” (Matthew 15:19) And I found that at core I am evil  separated from God. Or in other words dead, blind and wretched. And the problem of evil is that its not a problem but a mystery, as we are tied with it that its not something we just do externally but it have a source in our hearts. Its in our core, we were born sinners. Thats why God just don't want some time of us, some change from us, some behavioral change, or sacrifice but he simply wants us, so that He can change our core. Only He can do that because He created us and He alone knows the best why we are created and not only that the fuel we were suppose to run was nothing other than God. Thus He is creator(God who created us;Genesis 1:26), redeemer (He is our redemption and redeemer Job 19:25; Ps. 19:14; 78:35; Isa. 41:14; 43:14; Jer. 50:34, Galatians 3:13, Col. 1:25) and sustainer(Psalm 54:4) who lives in us. We serve this Trinity God in three head, Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Unless we allow God to change our core we cannot see any change in our lives.

Either the feelings controls you or you allow God to control you. If you come to God, He promise to give you a heart of flesh and new spirit(Ezekiel 11:19) and thus changing your core. And thus making you a new man. Yet choice remains to you? Will you allow him or not.