Red glasses

A journal entry of recent past:

Source: Google images

I am influenced or I am suffering from some disease I can see red everywhere. Jag lal! Lal Lal lage hai mujhko(The world appears Red! Red and only Red to me). The red here means arts, creativeness, design, beauty, colors, music in everything. It seems that creative people are always wearing this glasses, I feel like sometimes I choose to wear this glasses all the time but something within me just forces me to pretend and take those red glasses out and see everything normal and boring, monotonous and as they are dull.

   So the question is always asked is there beauty in the flower or the eyes who sees and appreciate it. The dawn and dusk are always the same, why is it some days we just love to gaze at it and other time we are busy cursing it and minding our own business.

   I am extraordinarily happy today and all because of music and the red glasses which I choose to wear. I waited patiently, took break from all the corporate greys and see the red within everything. I stopped and thought what the song meant, why the singer is so happy or sad. What is he feeling? What does he mean? I saw the ceiling and asked myself what was the architect thinking when he made this? I saw the pattern all square and asked he must be very organised person. I spoke to my friend and while speaking I observed weird background at my cafeteria and I thought those buildings what do they mean to me and what was the original idea behind putting it here and why it doesn't bother people who don't like, or they don't say anything because they don't care about it? ;-) I love the fonts I use in my Open office called “Joti one”. I love my phone which allows me to take random photos. I am very happy that I have pencil to draw. I am happy that I can make funny letters. I am happy for my job which allows me to sit on a computer and internet and learn so many things.

  

I don't know why I keep giving excuses and saying that I don't have time for arts even knowing well thats truly colorful me. I say a movie long back called Mars needs Moms where supervisor have deceived the martians to believe in a lie and have made things very programmed and runned only with instructions and very less of emotions are seen, they are not allowed to live as families and there is nothing called as love and arts. People are just living under orders, under strict manners. And everything is straight line and programmed which reminded me of other movies like Wall-E and Equilibrium where the Directors have tried to show the struggle between the emotions vs programs(reasoning). One hand in equilibrium emotions are illegal and in wall-e people have forgot what does it mean to live without gadgets and what it emotion really means and they don't talk, they don't love, they don't nurture relationships and I love the way Wall-e the weird robot changes everything. And in Mars Needs Mom how Ki is that person who is fond of arts but she pretends to be just like others and I find myself always doing like that. But later she recognises the lie of the supervisor and rescues everyone. I feel like ki and wall-e most of the times.(I love the tagline of Wall-e After 700 years of doing what he was built for - he'll discover what he's meant for.)

one of my sketch

   I don't know if all this make sense to many of you folks but this is what goes on in my mind whenever I hear the word “WEIRD”. I live in my own world. The colorful world, I fall down, I sing, I dance and I appreciate even small and minute arts in all things. I am sure you can see the world with a different lens if you want you can borrow my red glasses and try to see world differently.

And I remember what Word of God says:

Though the fig tree does not bud

   and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

   and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

   and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the Lord,

   I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;

   he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

   he enables me to tread on the heights. Habakkuk 3:17-19

Choice- God's Part (A journal entry)

Part two of Choice

Read the part one: Here

The Journal entry: 10th April 2010

I shared the previous entry of my journal that how I chose Christ. But now I write the page after that. Title of the post is God who chooses us and not the other way round.( Later I got to know that it was not me who chose God but Holy Spirit convicted me to for my sins and told me more about Jesus who died on cross for me. And we also read this in John 15:16 where Jesus said “I choose you”)

Source:http://inuliwa.com/god-chose-you/#sthash.NJEu2dez.dpbs

I woke up early morning started praying to God. As discussed yesterday that God is just a prayer away I learned lot many things while I was on bed. I was confused what is happening. It was like God opened his door and asked me to walk in and to trust him then I was encouraged and I was confident that I chose Jesus as my savior as my Lord. Spoke to Aveek about the same and he made me study some very beautiful verses. I was really joyful. Then we got the message from Church “You cannot be the slave of two masters! You will like one more than the other or be more loyal to one than other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24. (Interestingly I didn’t knew that the context of verse was different but still it was to chose one master)

It is hard really very hard to forget or to disbelieve thing that you followed and obeyed for twenty years. And but then God is love and so lovable that I can leave all this. God I pray, I pray that let not any obstacle stop me to come to you now I don’t have the privacy to speak with you but my heart is pure God I love you and I know even I don’t say and ask you will give you have grace on all you love your all children. I am trying my level best to fight myself. And please help me Lord. I Love you God.

PS: I have done some changes which I think was a grammatical error. I have not edited much and have tried to copy the journal entry as it is.  

Choice - My part

I give you a small background about what I am going to share. As I shared in previous post about my conversion, I also want to share my journal entries of past. I wrote this way back in April 2010 when I really accepted Jesus. This is the time when I have been to Church few times and started arguing with Aveek and Ryan about Christianity and other Religions also, without really knowing what it means to accept Jesus I told Ryan yes I accept Him my Savior and Lord. Then later how I found out what it really means to say so. I will add several things in the text I wrote back then but I will try to keep it as genuine as possible. (And please read the disclaimer before commenting or thinking anything about it.)

Source: http://www.transportationissuesdaily.com

The Journal entry: 9th April 2010

Today I think started the day with a prayer and I want to know what love is. Love is the grace of God He gave us His only Son to us so that we can be saved. I plan something and that doesn’t happens I get discouraged; couple of times but still I believe whatever happens it is for good. We had Housegroup meeting* today I was part of it we had fun over there we shared our names, where we come from and our favorite Bible character. My favorite character is of course Jesus the symbol of Love.

Well that was a good get together and Ryan prayed for everyone out there I liked their unique way to come together and to pray for each other raising the brotherhood.

Well I was always a guy who wants everything for eg. If you have three flavors of Ice-cream I would like thereof them to be tasted. This was not an exact example but I want to share that how I choose things in life.(# Basically what I really meant here then was I was a pantheist and I always through all roads lead to God and no matter whose name I call on I will be saved) But this time It was high time for me to choose either of the two things and what are they:

1. My beliefs on other things which I kept believing for long 20 years my lifetime
2. Lord Jesus

I had choice to choose either one. (# I use to wear astrological ring, some thread on neck and had some idols at home. And I was in two boats because I thought I can have all of them together but not this time my friend who shared Christ with me Aveek asked this tough question Choose today whom will you serve to Jesus or option a(above)? He told you have enough time think through it and answer it? I wrote this when I went home that day. I took off my rings and the thread and kept the idol facing ground the very same day. I was really convinced about this Living God and His Love for me.)

 
We can either choose one of them? And I am sure I have chose Jesus and sooner or later I will know why, how and where? But I have trust on Him is not based on any fear or any greediness but on the purest part of all that is Love. I love Him, respect Him and not to anyone else. One thing is sure when you trust someone and have faith on someone put it wholeheartedly and that is true you can only do it to one master and He is my master the father of all Jesus.

# All things in Italic are my recent changes and commentary. I want to add I really didn’t knew what I am writing and why I am doing but interesting enough one small word which made me do is Faith and as you all know the journey is all about faith for which I thank God. Like a small kid without much resistance I was sure that I will follow Him.

*Housegroup in some places known as cell group is a small gathering of few families of Church they meet over a meal and they discuss about the week and life. It’s a close fellowship with believer of Church on a weekday

About the title and the begining....

As I write this I believe I must began to write from the beginning of this journey which means the year 2010 when I started going to Church and started believing in Jesus slowly. This below is my journal entry of 3rd April 2010.(Kindly ignore the grammar and spelling mistakes and also if some theological errors because I am trying to copy exactly what I wrote then, and also this can be very raw and sometime will not make sense but bear with me it’s just the beginning, when I read this now I feel like it’s a letter written by small kid to God. Hope you will enjoy this..)

Title: The Journey of Faith: In search of GOD, Truth and Way of living
My title speaks about a beginning of my journey towards God, the Almighty. Till now I didn’t have motto or we can say a purpose behind my life. Now the journey will decide where to go.
I have faith on my Father (God) that he will definitely help me to show the path to Him.
Love is the only most precious thing I know. And that’s the grace of God that He sent his Son on earth no for any other reason but for love which he have for his children. I never knew things properly it is always like a dream happening around us most of the things happening around us hardly matters to us because we are very selfish.
But not my Father (God) he always knows everyone and he is there for everyone isn’t it wonderful.
I thank God for being so good to us.
Pray, how to pray I don’t know may be God will teach me. One thing that I know my journey towards God, towards the truth and that’s what I can call as the way of life to live. God just loves us for anything and everything even when we are bad or good; He loves us. I cry to God: “Father! Oh! Father I want to be loved by everyone; teach me how to love everyone and be happy knowing the fact nobody loves you. How to be source of love? One who never asks anything in return of it?
Jesus Christ came on earth lived a life of a human being he loved everyone he met everyone, he shared good news with everyone he met. And in return demanded nothing, not only this he was nailed on the Cross just because of our selfish world. I want to be as lovable as you God.