Letter to God: Cry for help

Dear Dad,

I am reminded of Your word which says “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way;” Isaiah 53:6 and I surely believe if we are not depending on You, we are going nowhere but astray. Surely Lord, as I review my previous year, look into my prayer log, I have found the year is spent in crying and lamenting but I see no efforts really taken to come back to You and seek Your help, although I have cried a lot but all seem to say, “God help me” but it felt like I still want to be in control, but as I gear up and hear from You and the message that we heard on Sunday about letting go, of giving our lives to You, and I want to honestly want to live for You and in Your strength, I cant do this on my own.  I am tired of going astray, I surely need to realign my life to the Shepherd, I want to lay down all the distractions, I want to bring everything to altar that is becoming hindrance for me to reach and hear the voice of my Shepherd.

Honestly speaking Dadda, I find myself in midway and I don't even know which way to go? Lost sheep knows nothing but helpless cries out to the Shepherd and that’s all I do. But deep down I know my Shepherd is nearby and He is more concerned about me than I am? He loves me, He cares for me, He calls me by my name, He gives me rest, He is the good Shepherd whom David describes in Psalm 23. I know my help is near, I just pray that I will meet my deliverer soon, I wait in a dry and thirsty land for Your visit.

But I can depend upon You and I want to end the letter with the words of the Psalmist who says.” I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments.” Psalm 119: 176

Your son,

Shushant

Blessed Monday-Thankful for small things....

Dear Dad,

Sometimes I take life and all the blessings for granted but today I want to take some time out and think parallel what's there in life to be thankful for. So we will start from the beginning of the day. Weather is playing tricks it have began to be cold in the mornings and the evenings and mildly pleasant with sunlight all the day, winters just reminds me of soup and hot drinks. Thank God for the seasons, I would have not enjoyed the variety of foods and clothing. It would have become monotonous if seasons were not there? Ever thought that way? So I am thankful for the day and night and different seasons and especially for the weather I enjoyed today.

I want to thank God for toothpaste the first need to freshen up, otherwise your mouth will stink ;-) Then for hot water. Nothing beats hot water bath and then for soap and shampoo for their color’s smell and ingredients which keeps my hair and skin healthy. Thanks God for all this small things that you provide for my hygiene.

Then I am very thankful for clothes that keep me warm in this chilly winter. Also allows me to flash colorful jackets and cool cap to wear. And thank You Daddy as I am an Indian and we Indians love colors. I enjoy being colorful, monochrome is not just boring but dull as well. Then I am thankful for nice home which protects me, which gives me small place where I can lie down peacefully and do my household chorus, eat food, meet people. Not just four walls but a lively place to live with lovely mom and brother.

I am thankful for my mom and brother who are always there to love me. Hug me, cuddle me and that makes my heart just so warm and no matter what I go through they are always just standing beside me. Sharing all the pains and all the joys. We have all things common and equally we share all things. Its indeed a blessing to have a loving family who is determined to serve You. Thank You Dadda for such a sweet, sharing, caring and most importantly loving family. We are determined to love You and serve You.

I am thankful for the small plants in my small home and thank you for stray cute kittens making voices all the times. For the stray dogs who comes every now and then just to say hello and grab some food. I am thankful for this little favor we get from this animals at least they don't fight you, shout at you or judge you, look down at you. Hahah... funny it is.

I am thankful for the work and my Ubuntu system at work, which just helps me work better. I am thankful for the excel sheets where I can put formulas and have fun with cells. I am thankful for the internet by which we are connected to the world and the ocean of knowledge and fun just a click away. I am thankful for my phone which I got as a gift (sometimes I forget and I think I am owner of it, sometimes I am too afraid to call anything “my” or “its mine”). Mobile which helps me to connect with bunch of my crazy friends who like share crazy things with me. We all do something crazy and we respect craziness and mostly celebrate this craziness and boast of the bonding over it.

I am thankful for the hot cup of coffee my office provides. The drink is not mere a drink but its a dangerous intoxicant yet does have lot of positive things. I like the aroma of this coffee and it keeps me from sleeping in office ;-) Also gives me a boost to stay alive and work. But mostly I am ignorant of this small things for this drink and all but then I am taking time out today to be thankful. Whether I realize or not, this small things make my day. So I am thankful for all this small things.

I am thankful for the songs that I can hear through internet because I believe music have its own magic which makes me forget all the blues of the world and stress of anything. It just takes me to a different world and the soothing music and soothing voices of the singers makes me think what a talent God you have given to all the singers. And different music instruments which makes total symphony, I cannot imagine how a conductor(master or chief musician) just by movements of his hands every group of musicians makes a different mood and a different symphony. I cannot fathom this earthly music what will happen when reach the place where angels worship You day and night.

I am thankful for the phone call from an old friend staying far away in Kerala whom I never met face to face but know only through help of phone. What a sweet music to ears to hear  voice of a good old friend. Sometimes its all that you want to do. Daddy, I am thankful for it is You who gives us good friends and the love and the strong bond of friendship.

As I always says there so many things I can just go on and on which makes me thankful and make me feel how rich I am. It humbles me and reminds me that every good gift comes from You. I am blessed and thankful for all things I have missed to take note of.

Thanking You,

Your loving son,

Shushant

Letter to God: Thanks

Dearest Father/Abba,

I love You Daddy and thank You for everything You have done for us. Today I just want to thank You for the blessings You have given to me.

I am thankful for the love that is bubbling out of my heart by being overwhelmed in the love of God, feeling undivided heavenly peace. Which I think no money, no pleasure, no hard work/toil would have given me. I am reminded of Psalms 23 every word of the beautiful Psalm has come true in my life.

Source:http://www.thesongsontheway.com

Sometime its not words, sometimes its not images, not visions, not music, not any event yet you feel super excited and you know in your heart that God is great and doing great things for you. Thank You Dadda for all this You are doing in my life. May I continue to walk in Your ways and experience this heavenly peace and joy which is everlasting because of You. The grace and mercy which are new everyday in my life.

I am thankful for the Friends. Friends who makes our lives so vibrant, colorful, musical and eventful. Without them life would be meaningless and we would have no one to share, care, fight, talk, love, help and to make team. Thank You for young friends as they challenge me with new questions, they take me to dimensions I never thought. Thankful for same aged friends who are like the iron sharpening us. Thankful for elder friends who are guide and torch bearers, examples for us. I pray for all of them, they are truly blessing from You and our companions here in Alien land.

I am thankful for the beautiful Church and leaders who take care of us as good shepherds following Your footsteps. Thanks for the Vision and Mission You have given to our Church.Thank You for such sweet families God. Once upon a time I felt like an orphan but Your word repeatedly have said “I will take care of widows and orphans” even You command us to “take care of widows and orphans” and I have seen that Church is really that family which loves us and takes such care for us. I am thankful for this community and I am thankful that I am also part of this Church. Thankful to know that Jesus is Head of our Church and we believe strongly in Your words and that is our authority.Thankful for meaningful activities of Church which is there for us and all Church members. I am thankful for Youth meetings, Fasting prayers, BTCL, House groups and specially for retreats and Camps.

I am thankful for the Gospel Music.Which have made my day, I generally don't indulge in music, but if its praising and glorifying You, I can't just hold back, I am overwhelmed and awestruck to know such Awesome God. I serve the God who created Heavens and the Earth. I am thankful for my blog and privilege that I can write and share my thoughts. Thankful for fellow bloggers who are always there to encourage. I am thankful for my job, though I am praying that I will get some more work to do. I am thankful that I have completed half a decade working in gurgaon and it was joyful for me. Because when I came here, I was a small little boy afraid to stay alone and now God have blessed me so much that I am turned to be a blessing for my family as I take care of my mom and Rohan(my younger brother) what privilege it is to with a loving and God fearing family. Who stands besides you, love you and takes care of you. Thanks Daddy for making me responsible person who now knows what does it mean to be a son of God, and also to follow law not out of compulsion but in love, knowing well that Your laws are perfect and which provides and protects us.

Your laws are love letters guiding me to walk, grow, think, love and live as You desired for us. Thanks for the freedom we have in You, knowing well who we are and for what we are.Thanks for the Bible which we can study, learn and a way to speak to You, to know You. Teach us oh! Lord to walk unto Your ways which leads to righteousness and eternal life.

Your Loving Son,

Shushant

Letter to God: Listening to God

Dear Daddy,

Thank You for the privilege to allow us to call You Daddy, Abba Father and thus calling us Your sons. What a privilege to know my identity as a son of King of Kings and Lord of Lords. And really awesome to know You. I have always said even generations will pass away and words are falling like rains from our lips yet we will fall short to praise You.

I dont know about you but I have always been shaken by God after a short time of slumber. Sometimes He shout at me when I think I am doing good or other times I think this is more probably closet to correct answer that when I am on right path I hear Him very clearly and take Him seriously. I have been rebuked by God for being lazy and complacent, for not keeping my word and not doing things I ought to. But sometimes I am so busy to make my life sinless that I forget the other part of being Holy is to Obey the Word of God and to listen to Him and to Abide in Him. I thought avoiding sins will make me Holy but it doesnt, its God who makes us Holy, its when we give control to Him and not when we try manipulate it. I remember Satyaraju Uncle telling us clearly that you cannot force a tree to produce fruits, you cannot pretend or manipulate in bearing fruit. Its a natural process and it should be allowed that way alone.We must abide in Jesus to bear fruit, allow God to prune us. And rather being busy in solving your problems, hand it over to God and just surrender. Apostle John says in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive them” and what do we understand: “If we try our best to hide sins, just to be very near the danger line and to play with sin and not to sin and try best not to sin and God is happy with our performance” whom are you playing with. He is the Lord, The Creator God who knows the end from the beginning and one who is Alpha and Omega but at the same time remember Daddy God is not the Moral Headmaster who is standing with a whip waiting to watch who is the naughty kid who is sinning; No! He is the Loving Father who want us, to repent, to cry out to Him for help. Ask any parents they are waiting and always willing to help their kids, same and I would say more than that God takes care of us. His Son died for us, for this reason that we might be reconciled with Him. So that we restore the relationship with Him.

Dadda(Father) when you rebuke me I dont get annoyed but I feel humbled. I feel and I realized at least this time that how small I am, that how helpless I am yet not waste for You. You are still willing to use me, help me and through me You want to do great things. And it gives a lot of relief that its Your mission and its Your battle and I just have to surrender and align my will to Yours and rest everything will fall in place. Infact when I look into Your mission to save mankind it simple looks terrible and impossible to me but when I see that how You broke through my life and so many others that gives me Hope that if I can be saved, anybody can be saved.

Dadda like always this time too I have come to ask. And this time I want wisdom, wisdom to pray, to pray without ceasing, to pray for saints and for the ministry work. To indulge myself completely in knowing You, proclaiming You, growing in relationship with You at a deeper level. That I will not take control of the steering wheel of my life but I will give it in Your hands and drive through where You want me to be. I owe my life to You, and I am Your son by Your grace and servant by my choice and I look and take pleasure in serving You. I am proud to be Your son but remembering well that it cost You to send Your Son on earth. Thank You once again for life and very meaning and mission in our lives. Rest I look forward to write more and more letters to You. Till then “Blessed be Your Name, blessed be Your glorious Name”.

Your loving son,

Shushant

Crying for help...

Dear Daddy,

I am sorry for being away from You and not writing letters regularly. No, I am not here to give any excuse for me nothing is more important than You and Your love. If I have committed my life to You should I not live the life accordingly listening to You. I am not tuned and I am not listening I was behaving like the rebellious kid again, but soon I have realized I can't stay far from You and  remain joyful. Soon I lost enthusiasm in materialistic things; I was busy chasing some perishable things. I have given excuse of busyness and tied myself to work and other things but I forgot that if You are in control do I need to worry about them. Who gives me joy, strength, wisdom to live this life, for whom do I live. I am a kid and sometime(most of the time) I want to do something new and hurt myself, I am not saying I shouldn't be doing something new but I should definitely consult You, because You know best for me and have plans for me. I am very short sighted but I have faith in You and Your plans and I know You have planned it well.

So the above statements brings me to this conclusion that I should be spending more time with You everyday, need discipline and to give priority to You. But that too I cannot do without You. So I pray that You will guide me, help me in doing this. That You will remind me to seek You. That You will open my eyes and let me see the path You want me to walk. That You will give me wisdom to choose right thing at right time. That You will satisfy all my needs. That I can sing Psalm 23 everyday joyfully. That I will meditate on Your word and gain wisdom and life. That I will give You praise day and night without ceasing. That I can hide Your word in my heart that I will not sin against You. Teach me and be with me always that by my ways You will be glorified. That I will not go astray but as an obedient son always walk in righteous way.

The time I have not followed You, I have failed, failed miserably but we live by faith and get up and seek Your face again. And in Your mercy and grace we have just found Your unconditional love and have not thought about the wrath. But we know we have not seen the wrath because Your Son Jesus have paid for our sins completely and because of Him alone we are forgiven. I don't want to misuse the grace and live a sinful life. God I know You love me abundantly my prayer is just that help me to overcome all my problems and seek Your face in all circumstance.

Your disobedient and unfaithful son,

Shushant

Thankful Thursday

Dearest Daddy,

I love You God for all things You have done for me and provided undeserving things for me. Specially something I looked from past two and half years employee of the month and also most importantly best team so I agree nothing is impossible for You. You have really blessed the work of our hands and I really thank You for my boss who have been my support and best alliance here. Who have shaped me and helped me to be comfortable here, taught me many things.Thanks for my team who always there to support me and guide me.

But I still stand in crossroads but I trust You, and have full faith that You are always concerned and working from backend. I just want to take this opportunity to spend time in Your feet not just because You have blessed me but also because I want to learn this art of spending time in Your feet for awesome wonder.

I I want to thank You for this job and work. But at the same time I want to pray that I will do my best always not only because I want to get good awards but to glorify You Jesus. I believe every good gift comes from You and I am thankful for it.

I am thankful for Your providence that I purchased a new inverter for home and which I should use wisely and give thanks only to You. I am thankful for the Card with which I make payment but I know ultimately its You who provide for it.

I am thankful for all my friends who have encouraged me and prayed for me even in hard times and stood beside me accepting my failures and not condemning me but loving me and helping to stand again and encouraging to try again.

I am thankful for Anil have started blogging. I will have company in blogosphere and soon Aveek is planning to join the group but God You know how I have tried to escape from it in the name for studying and I am not studying.

I want to pray for my behavior and my struggle for lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and pride of possession. I want to be holy as You are Holy and I want to be cleansed and purified in the blood of Christ. I want to take the cross and follow You. I want to make this my daily prayer that I will seek Your face alone and nothing shall hinder me from spending time at your feet.

Thankful Son,

Shushant

Letter To Daddy on Birthday

Dear Daddy,

    I love you and I am thankful for you created me with your loving hands on this day 23 years before and send me to this earth with a purpose. A purpose which I seek everyday. But more important is that I have choice to either live for you or for myself or something else. But You chose me, loved me, gave me free will to chose.

    That Your Son died for me, my best Friend who came to earth took the form of man and lived among us and because of whom we are called Your sons.I am so thankful for this live and so thankful to know You. To know that You delight in me and dwelling in me. I am shameful but honest to say I have failed You again and again and still failing You. But O! Lord I am thankful for You have never ever given up on me.

    You said seek the Kingdom of God first and rest will follow. I want to make this simple prayer on this birthday that may I always seek Your face and Your kingdom. May I always dwell on Your love, word and care. Your presence is the most important thing in my life. You have made covenant with us that You will never leave us nor forsake us, so I don't have to worry You leaving me but I am concerned about my choice. But Your love and Your loving presence compels me to repent of my everyday sins and delight in Your holiness cleansed in the blood of Jesus. I feel very bad when I fail you, but I am very weak to overcome everything in my strength therefore I need You. I need You everyday, above all things, above all the pleasures and demands of my life I need You. How often I have missed to come in Your presence and thus have failed and cried for committing mistakes on those periods.

    Thank You for the gift You give me everyday the bright morning light from sun, cool air refreshing and keeping me alive, for the night and dim light of moon, the flowing water, fire for warmth and cooking, shelter and clothes, for fruits and flowers of various kinds, so vast that I know only handful of them. For people for their love, care and affection. For the nature and its creative design. For physics, science, maths, geography, history and all that our minds and can comprehend and beyond we can imagine. I see vastness of Your love and knowledge in all things around me and I wonder You made this all to show that You love us, You are the greatest Artist I have ever known, only difference is You give life to your arts and not only life but free will and choice and You love us with our shortcoming and rebellious nature.

    I am afraid to complain against any single thing because Your plans and Your thoughts are perfect and beyond my comprehension. Whenever I am still I just know that You love me and that gives me a peace which surpasses all the understanding. I am just awestruck and looking for words to praise You. All my praise words are small for Thee. All my descriptions of thee are smaller than the shadow of Your majestic glory. And Your promise that I will spend eternity with Thee, gives me eternal hope. That Jesus will come back and take me with Him. Sometimes I am fed up of myself but You have never give up on me because You know You created me and You know the perfect plan for me, its just that I trust in You that You will tell me too.

    Thanks for creating me, loving me, nurturing me, taking care of me, redeeming me, for sending Jesus and redeeming me, dying for me, dwelling in me, shaping me, and finally I wait for Your glory and judgement. Truly I am unworthy and deserving all this but I really thank Thee.

Your loving son,

Shushant

God whispers...

                  
    Every Friday or almost everyday I write a letter to Dad (God) asking for something and mostly thanking for the things around. But yesterday I was writing and thinking about organizing and making a new routine. Frustrated over my lifestyle wanted to complete so many tasks that are pending and I was weighing my daily routine and achievements against them. Though I don’t jot out all my plans but I am under a constant threat of this unknown, unwritten task list on my head. Everyday a new task is added in that list. I don’t know even if this list ever going to finish. But I constantly keep thinking and pondering on it. Just like some animals who eat grass in a process where first they just cut and swallow it and later in leisure time they sit and chew it properly. My brain is such a device that it is always thinking and working on that list updating, modifying, checking progress, cutting, making new notes, adding new tasks something or other is always going on; even in the dreams it doesn’t take rest.
    In such a moment God reminded me of a verse “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 And I was thinking what is this? But then I started reading the chapter and not the whole chapter but the passage starting from verse 25 where Jesus asking his disciples not to be anxious about anything, for every needed will be taken care by Father (Daddy) who loves us. Wonderful, whenever God speaks to me I am convinced and I tell Him just one thing that Your ways are higher than mine and I know You love me and You want best for me. You know what all my problems are His. He is my Dad who knows me. Who told me “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 and that’s what makes me drop all my plans and all my dreams behind and look forward to “the plans” of the Lord for me and delight in them. For He calls me His son, and He is my Rabbi (my teacher) who shall guide me and lead me in the way of truth and righteousness. Thank you God for whispering to me, for your whispers is commandments for me and I want to obey them. Because I am called to walk by faith and not by sight.

Letter to God: A small prayer

Dear Dad,

I love You Dad and thank You for everything You have done for us. I am really awestruck for the way You love us. Inspite of all my shortcomings You never give up on us and we are thankful for same.
You are unchanging God; one who never changes and neither does Your love. You love us with unconditional love(Agape) we are not worthy of this love but just because of You only You and Your character which is love(unconditional) I can exist and enjoy and know about love and think about love. Understand the greatest commandment Love your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. (Matthew 22:37) Apostle John tells its You who loved us first not we(1 John 4:19). But our love is just a small expression and overflow of Your love dwelling in our hearts. We were darkness and our heart is desperately wicked.(Jeremiah 17:9) But You oh Lord You have given us a heart of flesh and indwelling of Holy Spirit; living waters flows from our heart.(Ezekiel 36:26)
A lot of things that I know not? Many questions remains unanswered but yet we know those questions are just thoughts but does this questions will stop me following and experiencing You my loving God. Above all questions my heart longs to see You, feel You, speak to You and hear from You. I love You and know You as living God who cares for me, loves me inspite of all my shortcomings and my sinful rebellion against You.
A lot goes around the world everyday, every single second politics, economics, lifestyle, entertainment, social studies, education and science. Every single day they haunt us Daddy but its a pleasure to know that You are sovereign over all thing and all things are in Your control. That nothing is out of Your knowledge and not under Your control; that You have planned each and everything and as Your word promises that “All things God works for those who have been called according to his purpose”. (Romans 8:28) And You are looking after us in midst of all thing heaps and heaps of problem, Your grace is showered on us without fail. And You walk with us in all this problems and help us have peace in our hearts which surpasses all the understanding. God teach me to come out of my shell and marvel at You, Your beauty and all Your never ending wonders. Allow me to praise You for who You are. Without Your eyes I am blind but I know You gave sight to all blind who asked to You and I am sure You have restored my sight help me see the things You want me to see and not what I think I should see. Teach me and guide me to walk in Your ways.

Thanking You,
Your disobedient but loving son,
Shushant

Thankful Thursday: Thanksgiving letter

Dear Dad,
Bless you God. I love you and thank you for everything you have done for us. God I want to thank You for simple things in my daily life and everyday blessings that You have showered on us.

I want to thank you for giving us life and also redeeming us. And for calling us Your son. Thank you for the love we experience everyday and for beautiful family without whose support and kindness I will not be able to do anything. Thank You God for friends and church family and relationships. Thank You for the GCF picnic we went to Tau Devilal botanical garden. Also I am very thankful for Sunday on which I was able to spend time with Pamela, Ryan and Aveek and we celebrated Pam’s b’day.And then for the dinner we had at Deepu’s place and time spent with his family. Thank You God for wisdom and discernment You have given me so that I can chose the right thing at the right time. So that I know that I am made to worship You and for Your pleasure. God I am thankful to know that You delight in us.
Thankful for small everything like job, every day chorus and for cycle which is helping me to live healthy life. I am thankful for food that I get every day, homemade food spiced with lots of love from Mom; which is making fatter day by day. I am thankful for You have provided all my needs. Thank You for the Spiritual food Your Word by which we are blessed and we are alive and attentive towards You. Where will I get strength, love, joy, peace and hope but in You alone and in Your Words. Thank You for step by step guidance for each and everything.
I am thankful for BTCL. I am very thankful for my blog and also for other blogs I read in the world out on blogosphere there are so many stories to read and to give ear to. I am thankful that I am able to write and maintain the blog which is one of my major tasks I planned to do this year. Thanks for this entire list God that you have done for us.
Now my prayers God I want to thank You for keeping me from failing and giving me chance to walk with You. But I do not want to take any credit for this therefore want to praise You for same also I want to pray for coming days that I will walk closer with You. I pray for time management so that I can focus on the other tasks that I have decided for this year which are spending time with God (which includes reading Bible and BTCL assignments also) and secondly for my studies for BA. Dad I know I have not been serious about only one thing that is my studies its mid February but yet I have not yet started my studies properly.
God I want to pray for Ryan and Pamela as they are getting married soon; for their new life and smooth future. God also pray for a stranger who became friend Manoj with whom Aveek shared the good news. Praying for missionaries and ministries that You will give wisdom and strength for accomplishing the Your goals. A long letter but thanks for bearing with my complaints.

Thanking You
Your loving son,
Shushant

Growing in relationship

Dear Daddy,
Today I am writing from my daily struggle and what I am feeling and emotionally what I am going through. Today I want to really share what's going on!

I read too much and reflect a little and end up doing nothing. Taking a break and thinking about doing nothing. Nothing is more painful than doing nothing. What should I legitimately replace nothing with. I have struggled with issue of doing everyday. I am never satisfied with my doing no matter what I do?

All words jumbled here keeps me puzzled and end of the day unsatisfied? Then what must I do. I planned four major things to do this year and trying to do that. But somehow I am missing the main thing of my life which is spending some real time with God.By real time I mean intentional a quality quiet time with stillness of my mind. So today I want to write this letter for asking God to help me in this area first. As the scripture says in Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. Interesting verse isn't it? We all know its mandate from You and walk according to Your will. But Dad I have gone astray in all the hustle bustle of life trying to perform rather than seeking Your face; I have made this journey wearisome. But the moment I am quiet and still and I reflect on You and Your Word my heart is rejuvenated  and I restore all my hope and my heart starts rejoicing in You. And I long for such moments and when I think of eternal life that You promised me, I just wonder how will it be? It will be combination of such small moments and only about You.
And interestingly I want to thank You for the new challenges like my job, relationship with family, responsibilities that You have added and financial pressure. My studies and BTCL in midst of all this storms I want to say no matter how much challenges I face its You who give me strength and I become more confident and courageous due to all this and really praise You. In all this I see Your loving hand  helping me to be peaceful and look towards You. I am amazed how You work through our imperfect lives towards perfect plan which You have planned. How nothing absolutely nothing comes between You and me in this journey. I really amazed with the faith I have in You. But when I read Your Word and understand that how much You love me everything else become so small that it looks worthless thinking and discussing about it. But God teach me to strive to grow in relationship with You because thats what I must do. I want to know You, know You more than ever I have known. I want to understand Your will so that I can work and do only what You love. As a father delights when son is willing to know about him and his business so do You feel right God. And as Your word says Draw closer to me and I will come near to you. (James 4:8) I am confident that You keep Your covenant but give me grace that I keep mine.

Your loving son,
Shushant

An unusual Prayer

Dear Daddy,

              Hi, How are you? I know the answer but You know still it's basic ethics of the letter that we ask the person how He is doing? Though in Your case its obvious but as a son I just wanted to check and I know You won't mind at all?

What is that I am crying today, I want to pray an usual prayer today? I want to ask something weird? I have always ask something to add, something to gain, something to reach, something to progress but today I want to put a reverse gear. I want to pray for something to lose, something to give up, something to lay behind and many to surrender. Because I have learned that the knowledge, possession and skills I have are like filthy rags before You. I am afraid that I am carrying a big baggage of proud of something I have done, something I have learned and others which I experienced. But God all this are coming in between You and me. I want to lay them out before You.

Its hard to that because I am afraid of losing something, few things I don't know what but I am afraid. Its hard to give up everything. But today's prayer is that give me strength to unlearn, to throw out all the possessions I carry. To be humble and accept that I am dust and worthless wretched sinner. Truly I am convinced that my heart is desperately wicked and my plans are always filthy and unrighteous. I want to empty myself. I cannot live this duplicit and cheat life everyday. Running and falling and crying every moment thinking to myself why can't I make it by myself? But the Truth that scripture says you can't, you simply can't?(Romans 3:23) 
And therefore I come to you asking me to realize this and to handover my life once again to You my Master, my Father, Lover of my soul, my Redeemer. In You alone I found my life and meaning. Purpose I survived because You came in my life and said “Follow me”. And I committed everything in Your hands then why do I run on my own strength and not on You. God teach me to abide in You by giving up all the obstacles that are coming in between. Let it be only You and me, and nothing to bother us. Let me grow in You alone and by Your strength alone. I really want to enjoy the life in fullness but in Your way and not my way. So here I am to lay all my crowns and all that I possess as filthy rags. As David says “ My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise.” Psalm 51:17. I want to be renewed in You Lord. Thanks for listening to my prayers Daddy! Hope You answer soon.

Your disobedient but loving son,

Shushant