Saint by day, monster by night

How can I cheat God, it doesn’t feel right
Being a saint by day and monster by night
Killing my conscience byte after byte
It's all grey nor black, not white
Fantasies that take wild flight
Why do I keep losing this fight?
Am I trying to hide or  am I out of sight?
What happened to being salt and light?
Defeated by choice or by might?
I am no soldier and I am no knight
Jesus, it’s only You who can make me right
But I beg O! Lord please expedite
Its only in You, I want to delight.

Digital India and my views

Lately #DigitalIndia have brought a lot of discussion around me, especially after I ended up supporting it on Facebook. Well, I get very limited time on internet and so I rarely dig deep into the news and find out what it is all about, I must say its very dangerous and I should not do that.  Confessions; I must dig into what I am doing and what I am saying. Guess what? I still support Digital India.

I am a simple person. I don't talk much about politics, simply because I don't understand it, but it seems one need to be very careful to say anything, because nowadays everything can be considered against anyone and it can quickly escalate to become political. While doing my research about Digital India I stumbled on this great article which is wisely penned and I think it captures the heart of Digital India as well as of what our Prime Minister is doing. You can read it here. And my conclusion or what I have always thought have reflected well in the article.  To quote from the article it says : “Whats app is just technology. It’s neither good nor bad. It just depends on how we use it - to share farming tips or get blood boiling.”   And to put it in my words, most of the technology or any invention is neither good nor bad, it just depends on how we use it. Its not the technology or any other thing that is bad but as some wise man put it in this words “The heart of the problem is the problem of heart.” Most of the things are neutral, its our greed, lust and selfishness which makes it bad. Anything good, no matter how good it is when it falls in the hand of a fallen man, its for sure that it will get tainted, no matter how hard we try, we have greasy hands, stained with sins, so whatever we touch will be bad and corrupted.

Well, coming back to why I support Digital India. I totally had different thoughts about digital India, whereas lot of people are thinking its Facebook trying to control the market on the other hands there are rumors that Mr. Modi want to have a database and he want to be a dictator, or to put in exact words “He want to be God”. Well your rumors or what your wise prophecy might be true, it doesn't really bother me. Because I consider internet as education, I consider that it have that power to liberate, help people to connect to the world. We always have been afraid of new things, new technologies, change have always brought debate, confusion and worry along with it. But it is good, when used rightly, it have always liberated us. Well to counter that I would say, don't we worry too much about our politics, and kings too much, just because he is saying or doing things to become “God”; will he? We should remember from the past, specifically from the Biblical history(also history in general) is that God is sovereign and He chose different people but to do His will, so it should not bother us really, because God is sovereign and He is in control. So end of the day, rest in peace, you are in good hands.

Source:facebook.com/ShushantMojumdar

Then, there are people who accused me a lot saying, we should focus on the farmers first, we should solve the suicide issues first and then talk about Digital India. Well, there are issues, and they will always will, we can talk about our crime rate, we can talk about our small mindset, we can talk about religious instability, Khap panchayat, traditional taboos, and the list goes on, which is still holding us back from bringing anything new and changing. Education liberates, we should embrace that, and I am really thankful today I am able to think and relate, write so much about the topic only because I got education, I wonder if we would have debate few years back, Right to Education is not that important, let us first try to fix the farmers issue, lets try to bring them to a better position first and then talk about Education. Well my point is both are parallel issues, neither can take the position of another, I know that farmers remain in poor condition and its a high time that Government should form a better policy for it, but again coming back to first rule, not that there are no efforts taken for that, maybe its not adequate, but end of the day, I think issue lies with the human heart. Unless we are willing to deal with the issue with our hearts, we will be going in circles.

At last I must say, neither its digitalization, nor education or good governance can solve our issues, its a heart issue and we must look for a new heart.  

Sin! Sin! go away lil’ shushant want to play....

    I really want to do away with Sin.Why Ya? I am sinner and I will be but this sin cause me to stumble and fall down. You make me feel guilty, ashamed and fearful. You take away my peace. You confuse me and you give me unnecessary burden which I don't want to carry at all.Oh! you are like a wound all over my body and I am badly wounded. Ya!  God healed many of them but you know it

itches when a wound drys and like a small boy we again try to fiddle with it and sometimes again it gets infected and get worse. You have been my shadows you keep me from reading the bible. Like a boy  try to run away from medicine, I have ran from the Word of my Lord.Oh! Sin I know with my strength I will entangle myself with my flesh and spirit in it; my pleasure and my joy. The wounds are very fresh and are very visible. Some think I am recovering soon but from inside I know how weak I am. Crying to Abba” Father please help me, deliver from this disease. Oh how you have kept me to enjoy good time with family and friends. How you made me angry and anxious. How you made me commit a series after series betrayal. What a blunder you are? You have made false promises you have kept me in dark. You have chained me made me and made me your slave. You have replaced all Godly and original/good pleasures with counterfeits. How far you will carry me? I feel lost many times and find you directing me in all weird direction. You tell me every new experiment will bring me something I never had before. No matter how much I serve you, you are never satisfied. What do you want from me? Everything almost everything you have taken from me? You have replaced my joy, peace and love with false pleasure, business and hatred.

    Why did I taste you at the first? I regret to be friend with you. I ask you to leave me alone but just as some addict is not able to leave the drugs so am I not able to leave you. I know you are dangerous you can kill me still I follow you like a fool who is determined to do wrong. What on earth will satisfy me that I will turn from you?You are deceiver, a liar, evil, you have no power but you want to make it artificially.I don't want to be with you any more. I find my beloved my Lord Jesus Christ asking me to believe in Him and break all the bondages from you. I know you will try your level best to get me. But my Lord is already victorious over you. He have shed blood on the Cross as a ransom for my sins. He have promised me a new heart and a new Spirit and He will clothe me with His righteousness. You are defeated you ugly sin. You are helpless when my Lover stands besides me and His Spirit dwells in me. I will bow down on my knees and pray to Abba” Father that He will heal me. He promised whoever will keep His commandments will never fall sick. I want to follow the Lord. I am His sheep and I know His voice. He is Yahweh-Rapha-The Lord our Healer and I trust in Him. He is the one the Light who loves me so much. I will learn patience from him, He will give me His peace, Joy and Love. Because He loves me so much. I will forget every hatred I got because of You and I will always praise Him and I will play(Live a free life) with Him..... And then with His might and power again I say Sin! Sin! go away lil’ shushant wants to play...

Confession...

Today I want to tell you about my struggles I mostly try to hide it but not today maybe some other day. Yes I am a Christian and I love God but does it mean I am sinless, no in fact I want to let you know before knowing Christ I even didn't know what is Sin. I was in darkness and I was blind how can I know I am wrong if I have no idea what wrong is. What if I always thought that darkness is light.

But now I know God and He gave me new life and gave me new eyes, I am not blind anymore I can see and understand right and wrong in reflection of His light, with help of His Word and I know what sin is. But knowing sin or understanding it doesnt solve the problem. We have to struggle everyday to sin less. As one my friend wrote in a blog that we can't be sinless but can we sin less. But what if I try and every time fall short and commit sin again and again. But what can we do, should we take God as granted or give up everything in God’s hand and look for His help. Knowing well that I cannot handle this in my own strength I give the full control to God. Ya its hard and difficult but only thing after failing and going through guilt trip I console myself by knowing well that God is sovereign and in full control therefore no matter how many times I fail He still loves me and is willing to forgive me.

I know you must be thinking what is this and why am I sharing this with you. One is I confessing my sins to God before everyone because I want to repent genuinely and let you all guys know that I am a sinner, a failure but still I rely on God’s mercy and grace and Jesus loves us. No matter what wrong we have done, He is willing to help us. He came to save us from sin. And we can sin less if we keep each other accountable and the best thing about Christianity I don't have to pretend. I accept my weakness and ask God to help when I am struggling with the battle of spirit and flesh.

What is good in Good Friday

    Before knowing the good, should not be the question what is bad? And then I tell you why it is good. We have always said that gospel, The Message of Christianity is referred as Good news but there must be something bad for which we are telling this good news. What is bad that we need a good news. I am not at all saying that good is dependent on bad but we must know the question in order to give an answer.

Source:http://www.truthnet.org

    What is Bad? Everything we did, or simply one word Sin. what is sin, is it something in our action, our thoughts, something evil like breaking laws of God. Or sin have many faces and degrees and what are effect of sin. Sin is a system or a problem? Mystery? Does it really matters? So many questions come when we talk about sin.

Sin according to me is simply separation something that have separated us from God. Adam the first man disobeyed God and brought death as per the Word of God “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” Genesis 2:16-17 We all know the story of Original sin don't we? Please read the Bible if you don't have one, you can read more about it here.

And indeed we were separated from God starting from the moment our forefather ate the forbidden fruit. And after that separation all problems like decay came to existence, we were under the curse of decay and evil. From that moment we became slaves to sin, and we all fall short to the glory of God. Look into your heart carefully and you will find all your desires to be desperately wicked and evil. All your actions moving away from God and His laws, some of us we even doubt whether God exists or not and this disbelieve is the greatest sin of all.

    Whenever I write about Sin no matter what all write we cannot get the depth and burden that is caused by Sin. But I can give you some hint though by some words I am using here. And all things which are evil, malice, not good, leading to death because fruit of sin is death and once you have tasted it you are slave to it and you know what unfortunately we are born sinner, therefore there is no excuse from sin. And you can pay nothing as ransom for this sin. No man was able to pay for his sin because we fall short to the glory of God.(Psalm 49:7-9) And think of that situation where you are in pain, disease, under burden of Sin. Fear of death haunting you day and night and you are stuck in this vicious circle of sin. Sin is the Bad news and in there is no remedy with human for this?   

Then will the man live or if I put it in the words of Job in the bible  he says “If a man dies, shall he live again?” Job 14:14 but then We have God who is mighty to save and who loves us and what is Good news. Good news is that God became Man and He made dwelling among us and His name is Jesus. Yes, Son of God Jesus who was born to save us. Romans 5:8 says:  “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” and 1 Peter 3:18 says “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit.” And not only this if we say what Prophet Isaiah says in (Isaiah 53:4-5) :

“Surely he took up our pain

   and bore our suffering,

yet we considered him punished by God,

   stricken by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,

   he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him,

   and by his wounds we are healed.”

And verse 10 says

“Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

   and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

   and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.”

Its Christ who was crucified for us on this friday, the death, cruel death of the innocent man just for you and me. Who bore our sins. Because men was eternally separated and condemned because of sin and helpless and would have died in his sins but its for God and His love that He gave His only begotten Son so that who shall ever believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

You must have heard many times that Salvation is free, but if you think properly the saying there is nothing called free thats true there is nothing called free. Yes salvation is called free just because you cannot pay for and no one can pay for it except God. As Jesus says “What is impossible with man is possible with God” Luke 18:27.    

And lastly I will remind you that Jesus was crucified for us, he paid for our sins, He was killed and buried in the tomb but let me remind you He didn't remain in the tomb for more than three days He rose again and I must remind you what He said : because I live, you will live also.(John 14:19). He is not the God of dead but of living. He is a living God and its His promise because He lives we(Whoever believes in him John 3:16) will live. Indeed this is a good news and therefore we call it a Good friday!

You can read more : Here @ Gotquestions.org